Every leader has a story and a message to share. Maybe it’s a vision for their organization, maybe it’s a call to action, maybe it’s motivation for new team members.
Any message can be transformational for your audience if you know how to compose it correctly. Fortunately, our guest this episode is an expert in helping leaders find their story and develop their voice for success, whether for an audience of one or a conference hall of eager listeners.
Jasmin Haley is a nationally recognized keynote speaker, podcaster, author, and consultant. Her HEART method helps leaders present themselves and their message in order to reach the hearts of their audience and create change. She breaks down the process, including:
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Finding the emotional connection of your message
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Understanding the audience
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Evaluating the effectiveness of your presentation as you deliver
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And much, much more
There is so much in our conversation to help leaders become transformational and define their legacy. Don’t miss a minute!
Mentioned in this episode:
Transcript
Jasmin Haley: One of the big things that we have to remember is how finite living is and that our legacy creating is actually happening. Right now.
Voiceover: You’re listening to the Vibrant Leadership podcast with leadership speaker and consultant, Nicole Greer.
Nicole Greer: Welcome to the Vibrant Leadership podcast. My name is Nicole Greer, and they call me the Vibrant Coach. And today I have an awesome guest on the show today I have Jasmin Haley. She is a nationally recognized keynote speaker and a friend of mine from the National Speakers Association. And she’s a podcaster, go check that out. An author a consultant. She has time for nothing else. She does nothing but work. And she’s dedicated to helping you find your inner voice and the climb to the stage. She’s going to help you guys, you leaders get on the stage. She will help you do that totally naked. This could be a good show. What she means is she’s talking about vulnerability there everybody okay, and share your message in a way that transforms your audience. So welcome to the show. Jasmin, how are you?
Jasmin: I’m doing well. Thank you for having me. You already had me cracking up and I have a really big laugh. I had to contain it while you were speaking because that was pretty funny.
Nicole: Oh, that’s good. That’s good. Well, you are just a dear to show up to be on the show. Because like you are like you just moved like when did you move?
Jasmin: I literally moved like four weeks ago. And I’ve only been in the state of North Carolina for close to two years. So we rented for about a little over a year and a half and had our home built. And I’m just now sort of getting settled in but not all the way.
Nicole: Well, it’s hard to find anything to do when you are a recognized keynote speaker podcaster, author and consultant, and then you still have to hang your pictures on the wall. It’s a lot to get done. That’s what I think. All right, exactly. We’re delighted you found your way to North Carolina. And so I want to open it up. I asked everybody this question. Nicole is on a hunt to get the right answer. And I think there’s just a bunch of answers that are all good. But what is your definition of leadership?
Jasmin: I believe a leader is legacy driven. And they are aligned with their God given purpose. That’s what a leader means. That’s what a leader means to me.
Nicole: Oh, I love that. Okay. So let me just say this, everybody says this God given purpose thing. I was just having a conversation yesterday, Jasmin with a with a coaching client. And, you know, it’s like, I asked this question, what do you really want? He says, I don’t know. I’m like, dude, you got to figure out your purpose. So I gave him this little worksheet that I got from a book called The Path. And it’s how to create a mission statement for work in life. So if you’re already like, geez, how do I get that figured out? I’ve got a document. How do you help people? Is that part of what you do? Help them figure out their mission or purpose?
Jasmin: You know, at this point in time, and the work that I’m doing currently, that isn’t my role, it’s more to pull out what’s already in their toolbox, what they already have, that they may not be able to see. And kind of help them get to a place where they have a full sense of being. And I think that being or belonging is really difficult for many of us, especially women. That’s who I primarily work with, in multiple ways. We’re caring for our loved ones, aging parents, our children, our mate, our partner, and we become overly consumed with others needs or people’s needs.
And we never are still enough to understand that you’re actually enough in the moments that you show up. And I think one of the big things that we have to remember is how finite living is and that our legacy creating is actually happening right now. Just this conversation I’m having with you right now, Nicole is a part of my legacy. Every interaction that we make every day, every decision that we make, are is a part of our legacy. And we’re actually living it and breathing it at this moment. So when we look at things in that manner, it makes you show up more boldly because you realize that every second counts.
Nicole: That’s right, you’re gonna pop on the planet you’re gonna pop off the planet. You’ve got a limited amount of time to make something really fantastic happen. I couldn’t agree more. That is speaking my language totally. Alright, so you help these leaders kind of find their inner voice right and then get the confidence to climb on the stage. So I guess you worked with leaders who have to present or cast a vision or give the the news of the day, the state of the organization address. Tell me a little bit about the work you do. And then, you know, I know people out there are they’re like, that’s me, I have to do that I have to be in those meetings and give those talks and cast that vision. So how do you help them do that?
Jasmin: So I hope I work with experts, coaches, and consultants who are ready to amplify their voice through the stage. And that stage could be a small container, it could be where you’re sharing keynotes to very large organizations. I focus on that because I was once there. My very first professional speaking experience was in 2015. Prior to that I had taught, you know, here and there, and I was also a full time educator. But when I became burnt out, Nicole, and I became extremely sick, I had a choice whether to stay in a place that was literally killing me from the inside out, or venture out and use my god given talent, which was using my voice.
And so I created my own business models from speaking and hosting events. And now I’m leveraging that information to help other people who may not see or understand educational methodology. Who may not understand how to take larger ideas and construct it into a journey for the audience members. But most importantly, to reach the heart of their audience. I have, I wouldn’t have been able to build my speaking career, the way that I did, had I not understand how to connect and engage with audience members that were from all walks of life. I grew up in Jamaica, Queens, New York City, okay. And I was speaking, I was speaking in places that I would have never thought I would be like Nebraska, of all places, right?
And I had to talk about very difficult topics, how do I connect with someone in a farmhouse, right? Who has no idea how to work with marginalized populations. I have very difficult topics, but yet, and still, I was able to reach their hearts. And that’s the work that I do. I help people see that you can go out there and make an impact from the stage. But most importantly, you can build sustainable revenue through speaking without feeling like you’re not making a difference in the community that you’re serving and in the lives of your loved ones.
Nicole: Yeah, so I know that heart is actually an acronym that you use, and just now you used the word heart, like three times. Will you talk a little bit about H E A R T for us?
Jasmin: Yes, absolutely. So my HEART framework is exactly what I use, every single time I’m presenting every time I’m constructing a presentation from the huda to the tuda, from the head to toe, I’m thinking about heart. And so the first word H, is about history or her story. What is the story that is going to be utilized in your presentation? One of the things that people forget is that we think about the structure of it, we think about the logic, what we don’t realize or even consider the emotive part of it, the emotion that goes into creating your presentation. So when it comes through a story, whether that be your own, or some story that has impacted someone that you care about, that needs to be incorporated into your presentation in a methodical and simple, right, but in strategic way.
The next one is end. We have to think about the end throughout the entire presentation. So often, when we are building out when I used to write my classroom agenda, I would always have a goal at the end of my presentation. So we need to think about the end in mind so that when people are finished listening to your presentation, they are repeating exactly what it is that you want them to say. Which is whatever that goal is. I’ve set a goal that at the end of this, Nicole understands that I’m a speaker, trainer and consultant. So she’s gonna know by the end, she can actually say that. And then A is for aim. When you think about a bow and arrow, when you’re shooting a bow and arrow, are you just shooting it aimlessly and hoping to maybe hit the head of your neighbor? No, you’re actually aiming it towards the target. And so it’s the same exact thing when you’re presenting. You want to aim your audience in the direction that you need them to go. And by being strategic in how you’re creating your content, you need to be leading them through that journey.
The R is the results. The results are associated with the objectives. And you can create those objectives and make sure that they’re measurable so that even if you’re speaking for 30 minutes, you’re actually taking people through small wins through the process of your presentation. And then finally, T is transform. Speakers out there that are getting paid and that are actually consistently being brought in by event organizers are able to transform their audience, the whole thing is, is that when you’re able to transform the audience, you know, you reach their heart. So by connecting and engaging with them, having stories, having the end in mind, aiming them in the right direction, focusing on the results, you’ll be able to reach the hearts of your audience, and hopefully get called back numerous times.
Nicole: You know, the audience, for this podcast is leaders of all types and sizes and shapes. And like the people that you serve every day, I think your message matches for leaders as well. Because they have to stand in front of their employees, their stakeholders, and be able to do all of those things as well. So I love your methodology. So I want to start with his story or her story. So if a leader wanted to get straight on like their story, or a story that they would use, how would you help somebody determine whether it’s, you know, like, speech worthy, or it’s worthy of mentioning to your to your team or to your stakeholders? How do how do people figure out their stories? Because I find that people like, is this a good story? Like they don’t, they don’t know what makes something a good story.
Jasmin: I love that you asked this question. And so the way that I work, when I create my presentations, I always start with the goal first. I start with the goals. And then I start with the objectives next. And the objectives that are written, they’re almost like stepping stones, right? That are going to lead to the goal. So the goal is the overarching, the objectives or the specific steps. And so what I do next is I take those objectives, and then I break it down further on how to reach those specific steps, with a with smaller, smaller steps from those objectives. And it’s from there that I choose the story, I am going to ask myself, if my objective is that by the conclusion of this podcast, the guests, the hosts will know that Jasmin is the speaker, trainer consultant, right?
I want to make sure that the story that I’m going to share with you all is linked specifically to that. And what are the actual details that are absolutely necessary to help that person who’s listening to that story connect with you in a deep way. And then be able to achieve that specific objective, or that specific stepping stone to that overarching goal. That’s the part that’s missing for most people. And I remember specifically, here’s a story. I’ve had a client who was working with me, had an amazing story. Okay. And so we’re practicing because one of the things I work on is presentations and, and design and delivery. And she’s speaking her story, and y’all have you ever been in the audience where someone is going on and on, and on and on, you want to say on one more time and on.
And so it was so much detail that I was overwhelmed. And what happens to someone that’s overwhelmed? They start checking their phone, they start checking, you know, what’s going on around them, who knows, it’s thinking about their laundry lists that they have to take care of when they get back home. And so when we’re looking at the stories that you’re choosing, it needs to be linked to those specific goals. And you only need to choose the absolute details to help them to understand the main point of that specific objective that you’re trying to reach.
Nicole: That’s fantastic. Yeah. And so you know, I think stories can be like, super simple, you know, like, just a teeny, tiny little teaching story. Or they can be long, but the details have to matter. I think that’s a really important thing that you’re sharing, you know, I need to make sure the details matter. I know the importance of the details. Now you also said the second thing in the heart was the end in mind. And so one of the things that I struggle with the leaders that I work with, and I imagine many of the people that you are helping also lead in their own way is that they need to cast a vision for people.
And I think that people who leave a legacy, I love your word legacy. They, you know, do that Stephen Covey thing, right? They begin with the end in mind, right? And so I think putting words to a vision and making it exciting. It’s almost like you’re telling a story of the future, or the story like you said, the outcome that you want to have. So what advice would you give to a leader that might have to take stage and get naked, be vulnerable, about the future customer right now Jasmin, we have a crazy world out there with COVID and myriad and sundry other things going on. You know, the future is a little sketchy. So how do you help leaders inspire and cast that vision for the future? What advice would you have for them?
Jasmin: I think the best thing that a leader can do is understand the current circumstances that were in. One of the most important things we have to remember, with just people in general, we’re dealing with human beings, and every single one of them wants to be seen, heard and valued. So my question would be to them is when you step up on the stage, even when I’m working with my own team, in my own business, do my staff or employees feel like they are seen heard and valued? Am I coming down to their level and, and actually using the words that they are using and describing the challenges that they’re facing. And when you keep the humanity in mind, that’s where you can motivate your people to keep with you to stay with you on this journey. If your people aren’t feeling like they’re seen, heard or valued, they’re going to be looking the other way, or an out, really, because there’s a mass exodus right now of people leaving their jobs.
And a lot of them are leaving because of that critical component. And so the humanity, which is why I talk about reaching the heart so much, it’s so necessary. One of the things that I would like to encourage them is when I was teaching full time, as a college educator, it is one of the key tools, whether you’re building out a program for a nonprofit, or if I’m teaching in a, in a small community college, evaluating the process of what you’re doing every single day is one of the most powerful ways to see whether or not you’re connected to the people you’re serving. So in education, there’s formative evaluations that happen during and in summative evaluations that happen at the end. When you’re presenting or speaking, there are ways in which you can kind of poll and see whether or not your people are engaged, or even towards the end.
So I would say for any leader, one of the best ways for you to grow and stay connected is to always assess on how effective you are. One of the questions I always ask at the presentation is what was your key takeaway? What was your aha moment? And if their responses aren’t exactly the end in mind, or the goal that I had for that presentation, I know I failed. There was something that happened that was disconnected in my speech, or when I was talking with them. So those are a couple of things I would say, can help them stay in alignment and make sure that they are continuously serving their staff or their employees or the people that they’re working with.
Nicole: Yeah, and you know, I think about the fact that you know, right now, I think a lot of people and a lot of leaders are actually very anxious, worried, scared, maybe have some legitimate fears. And I think one of the things that could be really amazing is from the stage quote, unquote, you know, that they could show a little vulnerability and tell people you know, here’s what’s keeping me up at night and here’s why it’s keeping me up at night. And it’s almost like I need you my employees more than ever to help me figure out how to provide this service, product, whatever. I think that it would really really touch their employees’ hearts you know, and yeah, yeah, absolutely. Fantastic.
Okay, so we have that that aim piece right, which was the A in heart. And so you know, getting clear about like your messaging is I think so important. One thing that happens inside of companies Jasmin is that one leader is saying one thing, one leader is telling another version. One’s telling another version. So how could a team of leaders make sure they’re all singing from the same music book? How would you coach or advise people to do that so that we’re getting the same message consistently?
Jasmin: So that starts with operations. I am a total systems and processes SOP Queen up in here, okay.
Nicole: Hey, and I want to say earlier, I just now remembered. Did you hear the girl from Queens say y’all just a minute ago. I just wanted to say she’s officially been indoctrinated into North Carolina because she said, y’all y’all. Anyways, I didn’t want to let that go by because I thought it was classic. Okay. Anyways, go ahead. Go ahead.
Jasmin: Yes. So I often find with any business owner, I don’t care how large your business is, it could be small or or, you know, several 100 employees. If your standard operating procedures aren’t clear, if you don’t have a mission a vision, if you’re not clear in the direction of your business, and then you’re not taking an adequate enough amount of time to onboard your people into that, or to get their buy in to that mission and vision, and your systems are actually aligned with that, you’re going to get people that are Helter Skelter. It’s just, it’s inevitable. So I would say the first thing is, is if you notice that, that things are off whack, right? That’s the best way I can explain it. That is not the professional term.
But that’s how it feels, y’all okay. If you feel that things are out of whack, the first thing I would often say is what was you got to go to the root of the issue, what was the onboarding process like, right? Was I clear on the mission and vision and how I want my my business or company to run? Did I set up my systems to the place where every step is outlined on what specifically isn’t, is necessary for us to reach our overall mission and vision and goals. That’s where your KPIs come into play your key performance indicators.
Your OKRs, which is your objective key results, all of those are the same exact things we use when we’re speaking on stage to make sure that people are heading in the direction that we need to work. And that’s the same concept that we take into business. And if we don’t have those foundational pieces, unfortunately, it will lead you to the dissatisfaction in employees, but most importantly, not reaching your company goals. And if you’re not getting business growth, then you know where you’re headed, which is where most businesses fail, because of those critical parts.
Nicole: That’s right. And so that’s why I think the work that you do helping people find their inner voice, and then having the confidence to get the mission and vision written down, get those stories that you’re talking about, you know, and point people towards the vision over and over and over. It’s kind of like when I work with leaders, they’re like, I told him already. It’s like, no, no. You can tell him and you gotta tell him again, and tell him one more time and, and then get with Jasmin Haley and get a new way to tell them. You know, that’s, that’s what I think is so important.
Because, you know, that’s how you take a group of individuals who might be currently Helter Skelter out of whack, and, you know, put them in a position where they’re like, oh, that’s where we’re going. You know, I one time I work, was working with teenagers through rotary. And we were doing this program, and I worked with all these young people. And we were taught through the Center of Greater Creative Leadership, this little recipe for leadership, which was direction, alignment, and commitment. And, and I’m kind of hearing that pop up here, too, you know, it’s like the leader has to tell the direction.
They use the heart to get alignment. And then like, right at the end, you have that that thing where you ask people for the commitment. Did you hear what I was trying to tell you? This is where we’re going, this is what we’re doing. So I love what you’re doing so, so transforming the audience, right? So you’re talking you say, you know, my I can help you put together your message in a way that you transform the audience. So what does it take to transform like an employee who hears the message from the leader? How did they do that transformation? And what would what are some tips you might have or strategies to help leaders speak in a way that they transform people?
Jasmin: So this is what I’m going to tell them to do before they hire them.
Nicole: Gotta get the right people on the bus right?
Jasmin: You got to get the right people first. Because even if you were to work on using the heart method in your communication, if they’re not the right person, you can’t turn them into anything else. They are who they are. So let’s first talk about like when you first onboard, them are you checking they’re like, I love to use Clifton Strengths. I before I hire someone, I want to know exactly what their strengths are. I don’t need another copy of Jasmin. Okay, I need someone to come in. One of me is enough.
Nicole: That’s right. She’s a unique original. Don’t miss that. From Queens that says y’all. Hello?
Jasmin: Exactly. So like I need someone to come in and have executing strategies or strengths that could complement the strategy of the strengths that I have. And so when you are looking at hiring, are you looking at this? Are you looking at DISC assessment? Are you looking at Colby? Are you looking at Clifton Strengths to make sure that you’re hiring the right type of person on your team? It’s beyond what’s on the resume. And then as far as when I’m actually working with them. Again, a lot of your onboarding process is what dictates how this person is going to show up in your business. Every business has a culture, and is your culture one where it’s encouraging growth?
Is it encouraging them to be their own leaders, there’s, there’s so many business owners right now looking for intrapreneurs, not entrepreneurs, but intrapreneurs. People that really grasp hold of their role and take ownership of that. And that needs to be communicated every time you stand up. In fact, one of the things I tell my clients is, if you’re not sounding like a broken record, you’re not doing it right. So is that does that mean that you have to state where you’re going in your business over and over again, absolutely. I state that to my team every single time we meet, so that they understand that this is the direction that we’re heading. And they have the opportunity to buy into that every single time that we meet together as a team. So I think that a lot of the issues that we deal with in a team really starts at the root, which is how we’re selecting them, how we’re onboarding them.
But most importantly, we can’t get I hate to use this term, because I’m not I’m not saying that this is what you may be embodying, but it is a true, I feel that I’ve been lazy in the past. Where you know, we get bogged down, we’re tired. And oftentimes, if you feel like you’re not motivated, with the work that you’re doing, it could be the fact that you may be burnt out because even as leaders, we get burnt out. So a lot of the growth in our business and what our our team does to support our mission and vision is directly related to how well we’re taking care of ourselves, how well we’re communicating the direction of where our company is heading.
Nicole: Yeah, I can’t agree more. I think that’s, I think that’s right on. Yeah. And so I think also the the work that you might do with a leader to like, stop them from their daily rounds, and their tasks and their email inbox and through stakeholder questions, things like that, and actually sitting and thinking about, okay, what, what is what is something that’s happened in my company that I could have, Jasmin help me put a story around, right? And then, you know, work it into something where I can get like a state of the union address to my people, whether it just be casually one on one, or I call everybody in for town hall? You know, I think that would almost have a sense of renewal. And rejuvenation.
Jasmin: Yeah, absolutely. And the hard, the hardest part for most people when they’re presenting is how can you get someone. So let me give you an example. Okay, this is, there was a Harvard Business Review study that showed that when, when they did brain scans of someone that was an effective storyteller, the people that were in the audience, were mimicking, to a tee, exactly the same brain wave patterns. This is someone that has no connection, DNA wise, may have never met that person. But because that person was so effective in their storytelling, and how well they were able to connect to the humanity of the person in the audience, they were on the same synergistic path in their mind.
That’s how powerful it is when you look at reaching the heart. So what I often will tell leaders, especially if you happen to be a communicator, like me, I am a DC on the DISC assessment. That means that I like you to be direct. I like details, and I like you to be direct. I don’t like a whole bunch of beating around the bush. But I often have to pause to say, how are you doing today, Nicole? Instead of again, straight to business. So as a leader, if you know they, you really have to take an honest assessment of what type of leader you are and how you’ve communicated and pause for a second and ask yourself, is the information I’m sharing right now with my team absolutely necessary?
And is this information that I’m sharing, going to connect with them in an emotional level that will motivate them to change? As a former health care provider, I know that when I would see my patients, and I would ask you, hey, have you flossed lately? When was the last time you flossed? Now I already know y’all lie. Most of y’all lie, but we can tell. Okay. And they were saying
Nicole: I actually flossed last night. I did. Every night. I do.
Jasmin: Yeah, so we so imagine as a health care provider I already know right? Have you flossed? Are you flossing every single day? Well, if I’m beating down my my patient, with you have to floss because this bacteria and that bacteria, and this thing is in your mouth, and it’s wreaking havoc and reaching your heart. And I never even ask them, how is your everyday life, what’s going on? Most of my patients that I was dealing with in a marginalized community were dealing with not having their own place to rest their head. So when you’re looking at the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the one of the most important things is your physical safety. Right? You have to consider when you’re beating down the people that are in your audience, or people that are working with you, if their basic necessities aren’t in cared for, how is it that you can get their buy in for them making a change.
There’s so many different theories out there, by the way, with education, and behavioral changes, but you have to think about just in general, something as simple as me telling someone to floss every single day. They’re barely able to wake up or even get a toothbrush to care for themselves, because they don’t have a place to rest her head. So when we think about when we’re speaking, and when we’re, when we’re reaching out to people’s audience, especially if you’re in an employment setting, you can send out a survey and get the thoughts of your team members prior to you going up there and speaking. That will make a world of a difference. Because using their their terminology, and connecting with their humanity of what’s really happening to them, could really cause a massive shift in the culture of your company, because it would show that you care, and that you have heart.
Nicole: Yeah, I love what you’re talking about. Yeah, so I just the other night, I was prepping, I’m about to teach a human resources class for UNC Charlotte. And one of the sections was on employee engagement. And so that’s one of my favorite sections. But people make terrible mistake of sending out the survey you’re talking about, and not doing anything about it. Like they get the results. And then they like everybody’s going did they get my survey because nothing’s happening. And so I think it’s really, really important, like so that’s like the key thing. So when you put your strategy together, for employee engagement, this whole thing we’re talking about, where Jasmin can help a leader find their inner voice and get the confidence to climb on stage.
Whatever that stage may look like. It could be a literal stage, or it could be a one on one conversation with a with an employee, and an answer the questions that need to be answered or address the issues that need to be addressed. And so you’ve got to get that together. And I think it does need to be done in a way where you’re naked or vulnerable, as you say, but also working through your heart methodology. That’s what I would call it. So I think that’s fantastic. All right. So you also have a book and I don’t want to stop this podcast before we talk about your book because it this dovetails beautifully what we were saying. So like, if you want to have an excellent company, you would be an excellent leader, you survey your people for what they need, what they want, what would make things better, then you have to have a breakthrough to excellence. Which is the name of your book.
And let me just read this to everybody real quick. I think this is fantastic. It says every day, the world loses innovative inventions, business, books, ideals, and world changing contributions because of fear. Many don’t overcome their fear because they haven’t completed the work to break through in their own limiting beliefs. So I think that, you know, probably some of our leaders out there struggle with that same thing. We don’t have these innovations, we shouldn’t have the ideas we should have in the world changing contributions coming out of our organizations. Because A either people have a fear, and they haven’t done the work themselves. So tell me a little bit about what holds people back from having their breakthroughs?
Jasmin: I can get really deep on this, I’m going to graze over because what I have found in my own journey, and what I have seen by being a healthcare provider, is that there is a lot of experiences that many individuals have gone through that they have never healed from. And I’m specifically talking about adverse childhood experiences, aces or trauma. Trauma can happen in many different ways it can happen as a child as an adult. And statistics show that over 70% of individuals, no matter what ethnicity you are, no matter what socio economic group you come from, has dealt with some sort of trauma. And so when I came into the world of education, I happened to come in with rose colored glasses. And I came into a very toxic work environment. Couple that with trauma that I never healed from, my inability to handle, high chronic levels of stress, led me to the place of burnout, where I was so sick, that I had repeated hospital visits, ER visits, urgent care visits with negative test results.
No one can tell me what was wrong. Until the moment that my daughter saw me bent over on the floor of my bathroom, and the look of terror and horror her face, let me realize, I’ve got to figure out what is going on with me. And so that book is all about really diving in deep, and understanding how sometimes our choices or things that we have no control over, impact us and lead us into the world of fear and limiting beliefs. It was a quote from Les Brown, that talks about the richest place on Earth, being the graveyard, being filled with the hopes and dreams and the unwritten books, the stages that were never reached, because of fear, taking over their life. That was the quote, that pushed me to reach from my goals and break through to excellence. I suddenly had lost my mother, I was in a toxic work environment, I was down the pit of despair. And so many of us have beautiful curated feeds, we show up as Perfect Patty, like I was.
But deep down inside, we’re not really honoring or aligning ourselves with our God given purpose. And every single one of us has that. And when we understand again, going back to the outside outset of our conversation, that life is finite. And really, we are building ultimately building our own legacy right now. Our legacy is not about the end of our lives, so to speak. It’s really about every single decision that we’re making every day, right now. And we need to embrace that, dare to live life with joy, as Dr. Brene Brown often talks about, and really get to a place where we embrace vulnerability, and take the risk and live our life fully.
Nicole: That’s beautiful. Yeah. And so you say in your book, that the process of allowing fear to take the driver’s seat in business, and that’s what you’re saying that you end up in the grave, and you won’t ever get to the stage, you’ll never get the book? Well, the other thing we talked about in here is that mindset is seismically, right important and how to alter it. So so how does somebody alter their mindset? So we might have a leader listening right now that says, I got a book in me, I got a speech in me, I have built this business to this level, I could teach a lot of people things. I don’t know, what mindset do they need? How do they get in the right mindset to like do that do that, go ahead, get that going. Leave that legacy.
Jasmin: For me, it was pouring into myself on a regular basis. When I learned that most of our thoughts are negative, and over like 90, 90 to 95% of our negative thoughts repeat itself over and over and over again, I knew I needed to pour into myself, into my brain, things that will help empower me. So I started off with books. I have done meditations that would be words of affirmations, I will often say, to help me start building the confidence because one of the main things the difference between myself and someone that may not be doing the work that I’m doing is that I never based my current circumstances on the future of what I could attain. And so for anyone that is on the fence with doing that, that’s one of the main things that we have to remember is that not only are we fighting against unconscious things that are working against us, the book that I highly recommend to read about this is called What Happened to Me by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey.
We understand how the brain functions, then we have to do a lot of daily practices every day to fight against things that subconsciously we have no control over. And so by doing those small minor steps, and listen, I don’t care what you do, it’s about what’s aligned with you. Because honestly, what works for me may not work for Nicole. And what works for Nicole may not work for you. It’s about finding what uplifts you, that makes you feel vibrant. It’s maybe getting more rest, it may be spending time with the right type of people. Some of us are choosing to have toxic people surrounding us. All of that is affecting, I guess, all of that is affecting our day to day decisions. So our mindset is impacted by multiple levels, which is why I often say when I when I even look at entrepreneurship, but just really life in general. It’s a physical, mental and spiritual journey. And some of us may need to get a therapist right? That is also working on your mindset.
There’s nothing wrong with I remember there was one lady that said there’s nothing wrong with prayer, a pill and a therapist, right, get all three. I’ve used all three to help me work through some things that many of us aren’t able to control. And so I’m a mental health warrior I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety. I’ve gotten help for that. We have to be willing to get that help from whatever external source that’s out there that can help build us up as we’re going out and conquering our goals. And one thing I want to be sure of when I go whenever my time is up that I have no regrets and I also have two little girls watching me and I want them to see that despite the challenges that I go through you can still persevere through it all and have an amazing life and work through all of those challenges and go out there and conquer the world.
Nicole: I love it I love it and so I want to add to your list because you said mental, emotional and spiritual. Is that what you said? Or mental, physical and spiritual.
Jasmin: Mental, physical spiritual. There was a fourth one but I couldn’t remember that one. What would you add?
Nicole: Well so I have this little thing but I you know like I picked up along the way in my journey and you know you and I could probably nerd out over all the books we’ve read and things that we like and all that. So we’ll have to do that sometime. But I have this thing called an energy audit. And so I say that people have six energies that they need to feed right. Which is that part we said you got to fill yourself up you got to take care of yourself. And so I call it you know feeding your energies. And so there’s intellectual energy which is the part where you’re saying put good books in there go to YouTube watch a Les Brown video. Today people today. Okay.
And then there’s the emotional energy you know it’s like you need to get around to people you love and that love you back. You know you’ve got to have really good emotional energy coming into you and you need to put it out. You need to love somebody today. And then the third energy is spiritual right. Which is the part where you do need to know that you have a God given purpose and you need to get your fanny in a chair and be quiet so you can get here hear from anybody hello. And then you know the next energy I think is physical. And that’s so important. I this, you’ll love this, Jasmin. When I was reading an intake form from one of my clients and one of my questions on the intake form is what do you need to work on? And he wrote I feel like shit. I eat shit. Therefore I feel like shit. And he wrote right on his right on his intake form and I was like, I love this guy.
Okay, so he needs physical energy. So, like he knows he needs to take a walk and eat an apple and you know, drink some water, whatever. You know, so there’s that part and then there’s also social energy, which is really what you and I are putting together right now right? Like we’re meeting each other we’re becoming pals. And at the same time, you know, feeding this this social energy called the Vibrant Leadership podcast. And then the last one is money. Which goes back here goes back to your part about like, Maslow’s hierarchy. I mean, you got to have some money so you can get your stuff set up. Right and, and get your house built and take care of everything. So I think there’s like six ways to feed yourself. Um, so I love that I love it.
Jasmin: I love what you shared. Yeah.
Nicole: Well, I can I can if you need that, if anybody needs that, you know, you know where to find me, nicole@vibrantculture.com. I’ll send it to you. But it’s a great little checklist to kind of figure out how to get yourself energized or do what Jasmin is saying, which is, you got to fill yourself up first. Because once you get the body right and all those energies right, then I can do a good work today. Right? Otherwise, I’m just dragging my fanny through the process, right? Okay, so this last one thing I want to pull out of your book because, I loved, I don’t have your book but it’s on Amazon, it’s coming. Okay. So you said, set your intention to conquer your goals in life and business. Now that’s not a new concept setting intention. But I’m not, I don’t know that people are doing it. So like how how would you advise somebody to set an intention?
Jasmin: Most of us, most of us are reactive. And so we go we move around and we get up and we’re just like, mulling along. And you know, we have these set patterns, and we’re just moving about with without even thinking. And unfortunately, living your life in a reactive way. It’s the same thing with hiring in a company, right? We hire when stuff is like on fire, that’s not the time to hire. Um, so like, it’s just, it’s the same exact thing when we’re looking at our life in general. Are we reacting or are we going to be proactive? And I couldn’t have conquered my goals. I was the very first college graduate and first person to attempt college out of my siblings. There are six of us, I’m number five.
Nicole: Congratulations.
Jasmin: Thank you. I’m still the only one. I but now my youngest sister is in college, which I’m really happy about. I could not have set that intention if I didn’t plan for that. Although I had no help. I had no clue how I was going to get it done. I set an intention to do that. So everything I have in my life, my speaking career, my business, my business pivot, my children, blessings that they have in their life were all created because someone set intention. There’s nothing that comes by chance. The beautiful Empire State Building. Someone said intention to build that, okay. So we want to have a certain kind of life, we have to construct that.
Otherwise, what we’re going to be doing is living our life responding to everybody else’s urgency. And that is not a legacy driven decision. Nor will that lead you to a place where you’re living a fulfilled life. So oftentimes, we just need to be snapped back in. And to the thinking of understanding that nothing in life happens by by chance. We have to intentionally make the decision on what kind of life or legacy we want to live.
Nicole: Yeah, I couldn’t agree more. So I talk about to people all the time, it’s like you have to go out in the future, and decide what it is you want, and then make a memory of the future. What will it be like when that is completed, right? And then whatever that memory is, which is the story, don’t miss that. The story of the future of vision, then you can get the intention of attention, right? Because you’ve defined the next step. If I aimed right, you’re A in heart, right? So I don’t know. I think that’s fantastic. All right. So here’s here’s the last question I’d like to ask you is that I know people are listening, and they’re like, I wish you would just give me one more piece of advice on how to do life because you’ve downloaded so many great things. What would what little piece of advice would you give for that one listener who’s hoping for one more nugget?
Jasmin: I would say based on what we talked about today, I would encourage you to beware of legacy snatchers. Whenever you make the decision to be in alignment with what makes you happy. I guarantee you, just like clockwork, a legacy snatcher is going to come knocking on your door. This could be a well intentioned kind relative of yours telling you that your idea is not a good one. It could be fear. It could be you self sabotaging, because you don’t feel that you’re worthy and deserving of achieving all of your goals.
Legacy snatches show up in many different forms, even from loved ones. So I want you to get fully still and calm enough to check your own intuition. And to check in with what feels right to you. If you know that at the end of your life, you would have regret for not pursuing your goals or what it is that you want to achieve. I implore you today find a way to take small steps towards that because unfortunately, we only have a small time to really make an impact and a difference in our own life. And especially in the lives of others that we touch. So that would be my my nugget for them today.
Nicole: Alright everybody. Beware the legacy snatchers. Get still, listen to what you want to achieve. We’ve got limited time, right? That was worth repeating. Okay, now, tell me a little bit about how you can help people, the folks that are listening. Leave us with a nugget. How can they get a hold of you. What can you do for me?
Jasmin: Yeah, so you can reach out to me on LinkedIn on Instagram. I’m Jasmin Haley. I’m a Jasmin without an E y’all okay. My middle initial is E. I have no clue why my mother did that to me. But I’m Jasmin without an E. And you can find me on there, I would be happy to talk about your speaking goals. I would be happy to talk about being more of a more persuasive presenter for the work that you do. I work with my clients in VIP sessions, and group consulting containers. And I love getting into the fine details of all the nerdy stuff that happens within educational methodology and getting you to a place where you can show up and shake it. Scale your business through the podium, but most importantly, reach the hearts of the audience members that you are serving.
Nicole: Fantastic, Jasmin, let’s hang out. Call me.
Jasmin: I know! I love that time I loved I love speaking to you the very first time I talked to you on the phone. I just love your energy.
Nicole: I got a hammer and a measuring tape. I can help hang those pictures just call me. Alright. We’re gonna hang out and it’s been great to be with you. Thanks for being on the Vibrant Leadership podcast. All the resources and everything will be down below. Check it out.
Jasmin: Thanks for having me.
Voiceover: Ready to up your leadership game? Bring Nicole Greer to speak to your leadership team, conference or organization to help them with her unique SHINE method to increase clarity, accountability, energy and results. Email speaking@vibrantculture.com and be sure to check out Nicole’s TEDx talk at vibrantculture.com/TEDTalk.
