How can leaders maximize performance while staying true to themselves?
My guest, Miriam Meima, has been a coach & facilitator for over twenty years, dedicating her life to studying the overlap between business and psychology. Miriam has coached founders and executives at hundreds of companies, including a dozen $1B+. She often partners with companies from Series B all the way through going public. She works 1:1 with senior leaders, facilitates team offsites, and develops customized leadership development journeys for leaders at all levels. Her specialty is in helping people unlock the next level of performance while maximizing authenticity.
In this episode, we discuss:
- Definition of Leadership
- Authenticity and Effectiveness
- The mindset of leadership
- Balancing authenticity and performance
- Closing the gap and finding fulfillmentÂ
- The importance of focused time
- Habits for authenticity and reinforcement
- Making downtime sacred and reinforcing beliefsÂ
- The vision of your future selfÂ
- Understanding and managing energy
- Maximizing aliveness and having a positive impact
If you’re looking to enhance your leadership skills while staying true to yourself, this episode is a must-listen.
Summary:
In this episode of Build a Vibrant Culture Podcast, I had the pleasure of interviewing Miriam Meima, a renowned coach and facilitator with over two decades of experience in the intersection of business and psychology. Miriam, who holds a Master of Arts in Organizational and Management Development and a business degree in business and psychology, is also a Master Certified Coach with the International Coaching Federation. Our conversation revolved around leadership, authenticity, and maximizing performance.
The Power of Authenticity in Leadership
Miriam’s approach to coaching is deeply rooted in the belief that authenticity is key to unlocking one’s full potential. She emphasizes the importance of consciously designing the impact we have on others and being aware of how our actions and interactions influence those around us.
As leaders, Miriam encourages us to consider what we want to be known for and to align our actions with our authentic selves. She believes that we often underestimate our own power and urges us to embrace our leadership and make a positive impact in the world.
The Significance of Micro Interactions
During our conversation, we delved into the significance of micro interactions and interventions. Miriam emphasized that even small gestures can have a profound influence on others. This is a testament to the power of authenticity and the impact it can have on our relationships and interactions.
Balancing Authenticity and Expectations
Miriam shared her perspective on the delicate balance between authenticity and meeting the expectations of the team and the company. She mentioned that sometimes people become too focused on being their true selves and lose sight of what the team or company needs from them. Conversely, some people let go of their natural selves and become performative in order to be successful.
However, Miriam warns that this approach is not sustainable and can lead to burnout. Sustainable joy and success, she believes, come from finding a balance between being true to oneself and meeting the expectations of the role.
Prioritizing and Incorporating Spiritual Habits
We also discussed the importance of prioritizing important work early in the day and incorporating spiritual habits into daily routines. Miriam suggests making downtime sacred and reinforcing personal values throughout the day.
The Role of Ego and Integrity in Leadership
Our conversation also touched on the concept of ego and integrity. Miriam explained that operating from ego leads to performative leadership, while being true to oneself leads to authentic leadership. She highlighted the importance of letting go of outdated beliefs and unhelpful habits, as well as taking care of oneself through hydration, nutrition, and breaks.
Goal-Setting for Personal and Professional Growth
Miriam emphasized the role of goal-setting in personal and professional growth. She believes in the importance of having a vivid vision and continuously learning and improving in specific areas.
The Importance of Vision and Purpose
We concluded our conversation by discussing the importance of having a vision and tapping into one’s purpose. Miriam emphasized the need to become a student of oneself and understand what fuels and drains one’s energy. She suggests mapping out peaks and valleys in one’s energy throughout the day and aligning tasks accordingly.
Final Thoughts
Miriam left the audience with a nugget of advice to find something that makes them smile and sustain that joy throughout the day. This conversation was a reminder of the importance of authenticity in leadership and the power it has to unlock our full potential. As leaders, it’s crucial that we stay true to ourselves while also meeting the expectations of our roles.
Mentioned in this episode:
Transcript
Miriam Meima: So in my experience, in order to have sustainable joy and and sustainable success, we need to have both. So it’s really tuning into what are the expectations of me and right sizing them. I think often we we are in our head about that too. We think, Oh, what? There’s a gap between what I think I’m capable of and what I think I’m supposed to be doing. And I will. I promise most people that’s not the case.
Voiceover: You’re listening to the Build a Vibrant Culture podcast with professional speaker, coach and consultant Nicole Greer.
Nicole Greer: Welcome, everybody, to the Build a Vibrant Culture podcast. My name is Nicole Greer and call me the vibrant coach. And I am here with one of my sisters where long lost sisters we have never met before. But today we’re meeting because both Miriam and myself have been coaches for a long time. But we’re not going to disclose our age. So Miriam is on the call today, Miriam Meima, and she has been a coach and facilitator for over 20 years. She has dedicated her life to studying the overlap between business and psychology. So lay down. We’re going to have a little session. Miriam has coached founders and executives at hundreds of companies, including a dozen valued at 1 billion. That’s a B people. And she works one on one with senior leaders and facilitates team off sites and develops customized leadership development journeys for leaders at all levels. Her specialty is in helping people unlock the next level of performance while maximizing their authenticity. So you don’t have to lose yourself to be a winner. And Miriam’s credentials include a master of arts in organizational and management development and a business degree in business and psychology.
She is a master certified coach with the International Coaching Federation, so she’s totally legit. Welcome to the show, Mary. I’m I’m so glad you’re here.
Miriam: Thank you. Yeah, I’m happy to be here. Totally legit. That’s that’s a good summary. I mean, isn’t that the goal is reading our bios? It’s like, okay, at least I put a little bit of thought into this people. I think that, that that’s, that’s the goal is like, I promise I’m coming showing up to the call, having thought about this and bringing my heart to it as well.
Nicole: Oh, that’s exactly right. And so don’t miss. She’s already put that together for you. She said, I thought about it, and then I also put my heart in it. And I think that that’s really cool because that’s performance. I’m thinking about it. I’m learning. I’m studying what I need to be studying and I care with my little old heart, which is authenticity. So that’s fantastic. Yeah. So I’m, you know, collecting definitions of leadership.
Nicole: And so right out of the gate, I’d like to add Miriam’s definition to my list. What’s your definition of leadership.
Miriam: Consciously designing the impact we have on others?
Nicole: Okay. That’s awesome. All right, So let’s break. Let’s break it down. What do you mean by consciously? That’s really good.
Miriam: I believe most humans on this planet completely miss. And if they don’t completely miss, they minimize the impact they’re having on others. That even when I’m in line for coffee, the person that’s before me and after me or crossing my path, I’m in subtle ways, influencing them and influencing how they feel, influencing what they’re thinking about. And that, of course, becomes more and more and more so the closer someone is to my world. And so if I work together, those closest to me on my team, I’m definitely influencing them. Most of us, though, just we’re not paying attention. We’re not thinking about how do I want to influence, how do I want people to feel when they’re in my presence? And so therefore, we’re missing out on our ability to choose.
Miriam: And so I love to ask people as a leader, what do you want to be known for? And hopefully the listeners are literally asking themselves that right now. And another way to think about it is not only what do I want to be known for in terms of impact that I’m driving, but if people were to use some words, some adjectives to describe me, what am I hoping they’ll say? And then I want to reverse engineer it and figure out how is it that I need to manage myself? How is it that I need to show up in order to to have that impact?
Nicole: That’s fantastic. Yeah. You know, my whole thing is vibrant and and, you know, one one time I was in my coaching program and they asked for everybody to come up with a word that describes an adjective. And I got the word vibrant. That’s how I named my company. So I love what you’re talking about. And everybody write down this very powerful question. See, she’s a master certified coach.
Nicole: She’s already ripping off the powerful questions right out of the gate. So she’s got this question for you. What do you want to be known for? That is really powerful. So we have a lot of choice, don’t we, Miriam, and how we show up.
Miriam: Do we have so much choice and we’re so powerful, we don’t realize how powerful we are. And in that, to me, it’s a miss most of us. We’re almost nervous to acknowledge how powerful we are. We’re worried it will activate our ego. I think that’s a wonderful thing. If you’re worried about your ego, that that means I’m not worried about your ego because. Right, right. Yeah. That you’re someone of high integrity. And so therefore, the more we can unleash your everybody, everyone who’s listening, the more we can unleash your leadership in the world, the world will be better off.
Nicole: I agree. I kind of think about all the hot mess that’s out there. And it’s because we don’t have people who have, you know, taken the mirror and turned it inward and said, you know, what am I personally responsible for in this world? And and don’t miss what she said about being in line for coffee.
I mean, you can fix the 12ft around you just with a smile and a pleasant demeanor. So that could help the world as well. So absolutely love that exact.
Miriam: Exactly. We can’t underestimate those little moments, those micro interactions and the influence that can have on others.
Nicole: Yeah, Yeah. Okay. So everybody write that down. Micro Say it again. Micro interactions.
Miriam: And interventions. Yeah.
Nicole: Yeah. Okay. Fantastic. Be thinking about your micro interactions and interventions today, people. All right. So I want to talk about authenticity for a moment because again, her specialty is in helping people unlock next level performance while at the same time maximizing authenticity. So first of all, just unpack the word authenticity for us. We get our head wrapped around it, if you would.
Miriam: Totally, I think of authenticity of me being me, my true self, my true true self, and I think of two axes. One is authenticity and the other one is effectiveness. And effectiveness is about the role I’m in and the business I’m in.
And authenticity is really only about me and who am I really and how can I can I bring my highest and best self, my truest self to work? And I’m always looking at how can I lean into one of those axes without abandoning the other? And so I want to make sure that I’m putting myself in a role in a business that is a good fit for me, and that in that space I find all the ways in which to show up as my true self.
Nicole: Yeah. So if if I wanted to be like, Well, how do I figure out who my true self is? What How would I figure out what’s authentic for me? What what might you assign as an assignment for me?
Miriam: Those around us know us better than we know ourselves sometimes mean. I bet you and I, as trained individuals, I can get a read on people really quickly. And sometimes it’s fun to ask those around us, How would you describe me when I’m at my best? Or how would you describe my true self? And then sometimes when I’m at a conference or something, people will have just met one another, literally zero interaction.
They just happen to sit next to one another. And going back to that idea that we’re always influencing people, I’ll challenge them to give each other feedback of how do you experience each other? And almost always it’s pretty spot on to their, their, their authentic selves. So asking others the other way to do it is to drop humility and just be honest about like, what do I? It kind of goes back to that original question of what do I want to be known for? Usually that’s somehow connected with our true selves. I think we talk about imposter syndrome a lot, and I think appropriately so, because that to me, it’s just the pretending that we do when we feel like our true self isn’t enough. And so if we just let that go and we just give ourselves the benefit of the doubt that we are enough, we have nothing to prove, usually we can drop down. It’s about two levels down from where maybe most people operate. And just getting quiet with themselves and dropping down is the other way to approach it.
Nicole: Yeah, absolutely. And so here’s what here’s what she’s she said. She said, you know, ask for feedback. So I love that. It’s so simple. Go to the people that you hang out with the most that you’re leading and say, you know, what is it like to experience me? Another powerful question. And then back to original her original definition of leadership. She says, you know, what do you want to be known for? Usually that’s at the heart of it. And, you know, I think when I think about that myself, it’s just like I just want to help people. I want to teach people, you know, you know, those are my true self things. So love what you’re saying. Okay, So people are at the Axis. So I don’t know if you wrote that down. Everybody, especially you mathy types, you know, you love an axis, so you’ve got authenticity on one axis and effectiveness on another. And she said, Don’t miss us.
She said, I don’t want to do one for the sake of the other. Will you talk a little bit about making sure you don’t abandon one? Why they must be magically attached.
Miriam: Yeah, especially for mean. I think leadership is a mindset. It’s not a role that anyone on the planet can identify as a leader. And when we’re talking about leadership in the business context, to me that’s a little bit different. Kind of the stakes are a little bit higher. So it’s not only about having a conscious impact on others, it’s about also driving business impact. So for me, that’s the effectiveness axis. And sometimes people are so focused on being their true self and communicating the way that they want to communicate and think the way that they want to think that comes naturally to them, that they’ve lost sight of what the team or the company needs from them in their role. And then on the other extreme, we let go of who we naturally are and we think about how do I need to show up in order to be successful here? And we let go of what feels good to us or what feels genuine to us, and we start being very performative.
And sometimes that’s effective for the company or for the team. But it’s not sustainable because it’s just we lose ourselves. We’re not we’re not centered, we’re not grounded, we’re not connected to ourselves. And that’s where burnout happens quite often as people have lost themselves in the process. So in my experience, in order to have sustainable joy and and sustainable success, we need to have both. So it’s really tuning into what are the expectations of me and right sizing them. I think often we we are in our head about that too. We think, Oh, what? There’s a gap between what I think I’m capable of and what I think I’m supposed to be doing. And I will. I promise most people that’s not the case. We are capable of so much more than we realize, and the expectations of us are lower than we realize. And that in the middle is our sweet spot of what we’re great at. And if we just let ourselves go, then we usually surprise ourselves in a wonderful way.
Nicole: Yeah, yeah. And love what you’re saying, that we probably have exaggerated what’s expected and we think we’re less capable than we really are. And so to dive into the idea that you study between business and psychology, tell me if this is right, but like, isn’t that like a form of cognitive dissonance? Like, I’m not thinking clearly, I’m disconnected from reality. Is that right?
Miriam: Yeah, absolutely. Exactly. So I think of cognitive dissonance is like if this is if X is expected of me and Y is what I think I can deliver, then we’re constantly trying to close. That gap internally, and that becomes really distracting, honestly, I think. Yeah, I love your definition and I think I have this right of happy people doing what they love or love what they’re doing while accomplishing the mission of vision. Do I have that right?
Nicole: Yeah, that’s what we just want a bunch of happy cats around me who’s like, This is fun to do this work, right?
Miriam: Yeah. And loving what they’re doing, right. And so we can’t do that if we’re always in our head, if we’re either doubting ourselves or feeling less than. And it’s like easier said than done. I wish I could wave a magic wand and all the lovely humans around the world would stop worrying about that. But it’s not quite that simple. But we can. One step at a time. One moment at a time. Give ourselves credit, exhale. Realize we are more than enough. We wouldn’t be in the role if we weren’t. Or ask for feedback and confirm what what we understand to be the expectation so we can appropriately address them. And that’s what that effectiveness angle is all about.
Nicole: That’s fantastic. All right. So what do you do when you work with people? You say that you help them develop kind of like a development journey or people are on a development journey wondering if you have a story or an example of kind of how somebody got in touch with who their authentic self was and actually drove the business impact and kind of got their head in the game about being an awesome leader.
Miriam: Oh my gosh. Yeah, that’s right. Stuff. That is the stuff. Yeah. Honestly, if the what people are capable of when we get out of our own way, it’s it’s amazing. So I’ve worked with many senior leaders that really helped. Their whole businesses pivot as needed. So, I mean, I don’t I was never busier than in the in 2020 just because there were so many a lot of my company, a lot of my clients are tech companies and markets were collapsing and expanding literally overnight. And then everybody was pivoting to remote work. And I know you worked and had to deal with some of this and supporting clients and this as well. So in the middle of that, there were some people who could find a way to, in the midst of chaos, think creatively and scan for the opportunities. And then. They were either got the support they needed or they already had enough of a muscle built that they could advocate for their idea and they could essentially paint a new vision of what was possible and rally people around that vision.
And so I’ve been able to see companies that were on the verge of collapse, go to the get get acquired for what anybody externally would have considered to be a phenomenal exit. I mean, that much of a swing, obviously, I can’t name names in that case, but. Let’s see what what would be even more satisfying of an answer for you? Would it be like, would you like to know on a personal level what that looks like or.
Nicole: Sure. Sure.
Miriam: Okay, let’s think. You know, in my mind, I’m seeing this incredible woman, a client of mine who is a mom of two, and she’s so committed to her work that she used to give her all to work. And then at the end of the day, she kind of she had left what she had left. And she would do the absolute best to show up as the mom she wanted to be. And if needing to choose between showing up fully for her family and showing up fully for work, she more often chose work.
And so what, over the course of working together, we realized is that that wasn’t aligned with how she wanted to live her life. At the end of her life, she wanted to look back and first and foremost have shown up for her family. So we started putting in some different strategies for time management and energy management. And she told me one story of how at the end of the day, one of her sons was making some spaghetti and the pot of sauce fell on the floor and her son just froze, terrified because he was so ready for his mom just to be livid.
Nicole: Lose it? Yeah, lose it.
Miriam: Right. Because that’s how we show up when we have nothing left in the tank. And instead, she took a breath and she goes, Oh, let’s get the dog to help clean it up and brought the dog in. She goes, Let’s go for pizza. And they turned out and they had a great night. But that that almost PTSD that her son had really hit her.
And I feel like that gets to why got into this to begin with is that for more of us to be able to be present for our lives and to show up the way we want to for our family as well as our teams?
Nicole: Yeah, I love that. So everybody write that down. We need to be present to our lives and like a little wake up call. Hopefully you won’t have your kiddo in. Don’t miss that. All right. So I’m also hearing that you might have helped her with emotional intelligence, time management, energy management, emotional and sounds like that might have been something. That’s what coaching can do. It can help you with all these various things, right? Absolutely. Yeah. So so leaders have to kind of do this thing that I have a little coaching methodology of my own called Shine. And we’ve touched on the S, which is self assessment, making sure you’re bringing your true self to the work and also driving. You know, you got hired to do a job driving the business forward, right? But then I think a big part of how we move in the world is the set of habits that we put together.
That’s the H in Shine. So what habits do you find leaders need to have so that they can show up, be authentic and drive business? What are some of the best habits leaders can get in place?
Miriam: It’s infinite. Honestly, I think every leader needs to have, I say, hundreds of of tools and strategies that you put in place on a daily basis. And I think that helps people rightsize their expectations. And it’s good to start with one and then build to two. But just to be clear, we’re looking for hundreds of little things that you’re doing throughout the day. So examples of habits that are at the top of my list is not being in back to back meetings. Every a lot of leaders, my gosh, right now in our distributed work world is a lot of people literally back to back to back to back to back to back. And they’re not giving themselves breaks and their context switching too much and they’re distracted where they are. So first it would be be present wherever you are.
I guess we already covered that one. Easier said than done, but I find that’s impossible if we don’t have breaks. Woven in are just the our our prefrontal cortex just gets too tired of zoom or meet meetings. It doesn’t have to be virtual. We just get we’re exhausted and so we just can’t show up anymore. So everyone has their own rule. But for me, I can’t have more than three back to back meetings without a break in between. If I have that fourth meeting, I’m just not going to recover the rest of the day. And everyone pretty much has a number that if they think about it, they know what it is. So finding ways within their current system to hold that time sacred, hold the downtime, sacred, make sure that they have that. So be present, build in breaks. I think I start the day knowing what’s the most important thing that you can do and figure out how to do that as early in the day as possible, because most leaders are so available for those around them that they’re getting unnecessarily reactive.
And then the most important work of the day, they’re asking themselves to do that at the end when they have nothing really left. So the the strategy work isn’t really happening. So doing that early and often and just because it’s matters them having focused time really really matters because they’re but those are a few and then whatever spiritual habits I think that that’s helpful for showing up as our authentic self is whatever you believe in. Find ways to reinforce that throughout the day. Whatever you believe to be the values that are important to you, find ways to build that into your day and reinforce it because the people may not enforce reinforce it, but that doesn’t mean the password on your computer might be helpful or signs on your laptop or reminders on your phone or your watch. Anything and everything that helps reinforce and remind us of who we want to be, our helpful habits.
Nicole: Love your list of habits. That’s awesome. So here’s what she said, everybody, and I like to repeat things back, Miriam, because people like they need to hear it twice.
It’s called consolidation, right? So she says there’s hundreds of tools so we can think about that. But here is the meat and potatoes know back to back to back to back to back to back. That’s four. Three is the limit. All right. Meetings. Okay. You got to work in some rest. I mean, don’t you have to go potty? I mean, get a drink of water, have a protein bar or something, people. Plus, I think with that one, Miriam, like you need a little reflection time and, like, don’t you have to, like, go put something on the calendar and make a to do list and get yourself organized a little bit, which can really reduce your stress level If you have a little time to digest and make sure all your little ducks are in a row.
Miriam: Yeah, absolutely.
Nicole: Yeah. And then she says and, and dovetail with that I wrote down, she has a great line in there. She says make sure that you make your downtime sacred, okay.
Which means holy. And this could be a lowercase H or capital age you get to pick. But lowercase h means just like set apart and nobody gets to mess with it. Okay, being present, that’s been reinforced a lot. And then also put the most important thing first and then reinforce what you believe. And I love the little tip she just threw in there. Don’t miss. She said, Make your password something a little spiritually inspiration, something something so that every time you put it in, you’re like, Oh, yeah, that’s what we’re doing here. All right. So love that. All right. So that’s the H in my Shine coaching methodology. And so the next thing is integrity. And you you kind of said this thing earlier about ego and integrity. So I don’t want to gloss over that because I think it’s really important. Will you talk a little bit about how if you’re not in your ego, you’re in integrity? I love that. Talk a little bit more about that.
Miriam: Yeah. I mean, I think when we’re in our ego, it’s it’s the shortcut to performative what I would consider performative leadership, which is different from authentic leadership. And that is and I think a lot of us I mean, I personally when I was early in my career, I felt like in order to be successful, the more masculine I was, the better. A lot of people would say, the more white they are, the more successful they feel like they can be. And so people are literally just looking around them at who’s successful here. And then we can do that in the context of our country, or we can do that in the context of our industry or company. And if we’re looking at who’s been in charge and then we start operating in that way, we’re abandoning ourselves. And in that there’s a lot of space for ego to just kind of take over because it starts to feel good. So we have this, this weird reinforcement that’s less. It’s not sustainable, but it’s we get these dopamine hits that feel like, Oh, we’re doing we’re doing great, but in the meantime, we’re not being ourselves.
And so if we can just let go of that and focus on who am I and how do I want to show up, and then what’s possible from here, then I find integrity is almost inevitable because to me, integrity is being able to stay true to my word and follow through with what it is that I say that matters to me and what I say I’m going to do, and that in that alignment with ourselves just happens if we get out of our own way.
Nicole: Yeah, yeah. And that’s been like the third time that you’ve said that. Get out of our own way. So let’s, let’s just look at that for a hot second. How are people in their own way, What are some things that we do that kind of I know hot hot topic. She just said whew, touch something hot. She she reacted. So how do we get in our own way? What are some of the things you see people doing?
Miriam: Oh, my gosh. I’m taking a big breath with this one because this is it.
If we can figure this out and maybe we’ll put our heads together on this one, we’ll.
Nicole: Yeah, sure.
Miriam: Honestly, everything else starts to take care of itself. So how do we get in our own way? We have outdated belief systems or unhelpful belief systems. We have outdated or unhelpful habits. We. Uh, gloss over the things that really matter to us. And so therefore, we’re always judging ourselves for it and feeling like we’re behind. Um, we don’t fuel ourselves effectively. So you were talking about protein bars and water and bathroom breaks, and that seems obvious to you, but a lot of people in the flow of their days, they are not hydrating, they are not sleeping, they are not eating enough protein, they’re not taking breaks or breathing. And so those are those are just a few of the ways that the things within our control we aren’t doing effectively to set ourselves up for the life that we want. And to me, that’s the same thing as essentially getting in our own way unconscious. Of course, no one’s doing that consciously.
Nicole: Yeah, I love it. Yeah. So this. This I’m going to call it something strong self-sabotage, right? Yes. So people are, like, getting in their own way. So outdated belief systems, outdated bad habits, you know, and that I don’t know if you know this guy, Dan Sullivan. He’s he’s a coach strategic coach. But he says, you know, quit quit worrying about the bad habits and just pick a good one. A bad one will go out the back door. I just love that. So I’ve just popped in my head. So there’s your your your Tip of the Day from Nicole. And then you said, we gloss over what matters to us, right? So like I think people and it goes back to what you said earlier about like these huge expectations we think people have for us. You said you gloss over what matters to to you matters to you. Like, I don’t know. I guess I still have a little bit of that going on in me.
It’s like I was raised in this customer service kind of home, you know, like you do this because of the family. And then my dad was in retail and so I went to work with him all the time. So it was this huge customer service kind of attitude all the time. And it’s like, you do need to put yourself first on the calendar every once in a blue moon and then, like you said, feed yourself, go potty, do whatever you know, do during the normal things because you’re really not operating at the level you could either when you’re denying yourself what you need.
Miriam: Yeah, exactly.
Nicole: That’s just a fact. Okay. So that’s one of the ways that we can get ourselves back in integrity. All right. And so you talk about and we said in your in your bio that you help people put together this journey that they go on. And what I’m assuming you straighten me out, Miriam, is that, you know, like we have to set some goals for our life.
One of the things I tell people is don’t let your life unfold. You know, you need you got to get out there and get after it. People often say to me, Is it okay to be content? I’m like, You can be happy, but you can’t be content because there’s more available to you. It would be it would be not great if you didn’t get a hold of it. So what’s possible for you is even more so. Tell me a little bit about how you help people. Goal set or figure out the journey. What do you guys what do you do?
Miriam: Yeah, and the journeys. So I definitely work with people one on one to create those journeys. And more often I’m working with a whole company and I’m saying, Oh, what do you expect of leaders here? And helping them create training programs or different different experiences that will yield the outcomes that they’re looking for? Because we can’t just expect people to be as self motivated as your listeners are. Some some people need to be guided more so than others.
But regardless of whether it’s all leaders inside a company or one on one, I think it’s very helpful to have a vivid description of what we’re aiming for and a very much almost a visceral understanding of this vision and what’s distinct in the future than from right now. And for most leaders, it’s an there’s a skill component to this. So it’s setting goals and, yes, getting out of our own way and yes, building new habits. But it’s also what do I not know? What is it that I would want to learn about? And all of us can be learning all the time. So the question is, what am I going to focus on right now? And most of us, it’s things like how to effectively advocate for myself, how to influence others, how to think strategically, how to access curiosity more often, how to hold others accountable or drive results across the team. So it’s like any of those things are good choices. Like, really, we can pick anyone and there’s no wrong answer.
It’s just what is it? What’s something that I want to get better at? And then using the tools and resources at our disposal, at our disposal to help us get there.
Nicole: Yeah, absolutely. So love what you’re saying. It’s like, you know, you got to get a picture of where you want to be. And so I would just call that getting a vision, right? I’ve worked with a coach before that said, you know, what you need to do is meet your future self. I thought that was helpful. Exactly. And then it’s like, what does your future self know? Or to your point, you said, what skills do they does your skills does your future self have? And then let’s find some resources, right? So so important to get after those next right steps. Because here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. When you tap into your your purpose, I think the world rewards you. It goes back to what we were saying. The world is a hot mess and people aren’t at the level they need to be at to fix the problems that are around us.
And if we are all kind of chugging that direction and you know, isn’t it fun to learn, hello, people, you wouldn’t be listening if you didn’t want to learn. Exactly. So fun. Okay. The last in my shine coaching methodology is the E, which is all about energy. And here’s what I know. This whole life is about energy. You pop on the planet, you get this like energy from day one, and then when you pop off, the energy’s gone. Poof. No more energy. So it’s all about energy. So how do you see energy playing a part in somebody’s success and what do you do to help them kind of get stoked and get energized about what they’re doing?
Miriam: Yeah, exactly. I really am a fan of all of us becoming students of our own selves, so students of ourselves and specifically our energy. So if I’m becoming a student of me, I want to understand what is it that fuels me? What is it that drains me? How can I be doing more of the things that fuel me, fewer of the things that drain me? And that is as much habits as it is tasks.
And it’s amazing how I personally like to look at energy and time management together. I find if I look at one without the other, I’m not getting a full picture. And so there will be times when I have a meeting with someone and I just routinely leave that meeting drained and it doesn’t seem to matter how I show up or what I’m bringing to it, just that drains me. So I’ve there’s been moments when I would put that on my drained list. But if I move that meeting to a different time than my day, it doesn’t necessarily drain me. So I just need to essentially I like to map out peaks and valleys in my own energy. Most of us have a pretty reliable energy signature throughout a day. So knowing what that is and then thinking about what. I would want to get done and making sure that I’m mapping the tasks to the essentially my energy throughout the day. And then I do more and more and more of the things that build up my energy and less and less and less of the things that drain my energy built in breaks.
Nicole: Then those breaks. Hey, did you hear that? Three times. You get breaks, people. It’s exciting to.
Miriam: Know. It’s like the easiest thing, not the easiest thing, but it’s the most important thing. Maybe. But then I think we want to end the energy. We want to end our day with energy. We want to feel vibrant all day long, don’t we? Not just in the morning, not just in the middle. We want to feel vibrant all day. And so I know for me, maximizing my sense of aliveness is really important. So when you talk about purpose, for me, I feel like I have two. One is just to. Make the most of being alive like I’m human and my life won’t be infinite. I’m here for only a certain amount of time. I want to really savor the human experience, and in order to do that, I need to really be alive and so and present. So that matters to me. And so does having a positive impact in the world.
And so I’m trying to do both at the same time. But and I think it’s wonderful that you have outlined such a beautiful methodology that’s very actionable for folks. And if people follow it, they will be better off.
Nicole: Well, thank you for that. And and here here’s something that she said that I don’t. She she’s making a list. Did you all hear that? She’s making a list of the things that energize her and the things that drain her. And she’s stopping to look and go, okay, how do I rearrange this? How do I make this better? So she said, I map out the peaks and the valleys. I think that’s fantastic. So think about how you might do that, folks, with your energy. Also, there’s a book that was very influential in my life. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it, Marianne, but it’s called The Path by an author named Lori Beth Jones, and she has a little exercise I’ll just throw in there. She’s like on one side of a piece of paper you put I want more of.
And on the other side of the paper you put I want less of. And you just have that piece of paper sitting on your desk and you’re like, When that happens, you’re like, Oh, I want less of that. And you write it down and then, you know, you’re like, Whoa, I just had a good time. I want more of that, you know? And so how do you live this joyful life, this and what did you say? Don’t miss it, She said, maximizing my sense of aliveness. All right, that’s tweetable, Everybody write down. That would be living on that side of what do I want more of? And it’s not like a more like a selfish little girl. I want more candy. I want more Barbies. I want more whatever you fellas wanted. Whatever, you know. You know what I’m saying? It’s more like I want these things that make me make me happy and joyful in the present. She keeps reinforcing the present. Don’t miss out either.
Miriam: Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it’s most of us. If we can slow down long enough to look at those lists, the things on the what drains us or what we want less of, we can probably delegate or we can get it done sooner. And if we stop procrastinating, it would not have such a negative impact on us. And then there’s certain things that that we can’t completely let go of. And so then I’m always like, okay, how am I setting myself to have a good time? I can’t choose to not do this. It’s not an option. I’ve looked from every single angle that is rare and it does happen and say, okay, I’m going to I’m going to put music on. I’m going to have I’m going to make myself a little coffee and I’m going to drink that coffee and I’m going to have my favorite music on while I do the thing that I don’t want to do. But at least I’m finding ways to approach it that still help me feel vibrant. Oh, my.
Nicole: Gosh, you are speaking my language, sister. All right. I told you we were sisters at the beginning of the show. And, look, she’s totally my sister. All right, Miriam, we are at the top of the hour, and everybody is like, wait, don’t let her go. Not yet. So they want one more One more nugget from Miriam. What? What little nugget would you leave people with so they could remember you by that, um, smile?
Miriam: I would just have everyone right now find something to think about that makes you smile and see how long you can sustain that and let that joy poor pour through your day and the experiences and interactions that you have. And if people want to find me, they can go to leaders who smile.
Nicole: There you go. Oh, did you see how she tied it together? She’s a true professional people. All right. So I have been having such a good time talking with my coaching sister. In her name is Miriam Mima, and it is spelled let me spell it for you because you want to go Google it.
Miriam. Last name, Meima All right. It’ll all be in the show notes down below. Now, if you have loved listening to the Build a Vibrant Culture podcast, would you do us a favor and go down and just it takes a hot second and click the like button. And then maybe what you might do is leave a little review, leave a review of the show today and also maybe a little love note for Miriam, because she would love that and so would I. All right.
Miriam: Let’s give Nicole some applause. Everybody listening to give you some love.
Creating and sustaining a podcast is not easy. So thank you for giving this gift to everyone who’s listening.
Nicole: Oh, that’s so sweet. Oh, have a ball. Meet the greatest people in my long lost sisters and all sorts of great things happen. Yeah. And so you can find her at leaders who smile. And also she’s of course, she’s over on the LinkedIn. And it’s Miriam Meima. Thank you so much for being on the Build a Vibrant Culture podcast.
Miriam: Thank you.
Voiceover: Ready to build your vibrant culture? Bring Nicole Greer to speak to your leadership team, conference or organization to help them with their strategies, systems and smarts to increase clarity, accountability, energy and results. Your organization will get lit from within. Email Nicole@nicolegreer.com. And be sure to check out Nicole’s TEDx talk at nicolegreer.com.
