What if the stories you tell yourself are the very thing shaping — or sabotaging — your leadership?
In this powerful episode of the Build a Vibrant Culture Podcast, Nicole sits down with Dr. Jaime Goff, psychologist, executive coach, and author of The Secure Leader. Together, they unpack the hidden forces that shape how leaders think, feel, and behave — stories formed early in life that quietly influence everything from delegation to decision-making.
Dr. Goff explains why humans rely so heavily on story to make sense of the world, how neural pathways become entrenched through repetition, and why the good news of neuroplasticity means every leader can rewrite their narrative. Nicole and Jaime explore secure vs. insecure attachment styles, the roots of perfectionism and approval-seeking, emotional regulation, personal triggers, ambiguity, connection in leadership, and what it truly takes to become a secure, resilient, and authentic leader.
If you’ve ever wondered why you lead the way you lead — or how to elevate your leadership story — this conversation is your roadmap.
Vibrant Highlights:
[00:01:51–00:03:24] Why Story Shapes Leadership. Dr. Goff explains how humans interpret the world through internal stories and neural pathways — and how those stories can become invisible scripts driving leadership behavior.
[00:15:11–00:17:42] The Two Questions That Define Your Leadership Story. Am I worthy? Are others trustworthy? These two unconscious beliefs shape everything about how leaders show up — from delegation to receiving feedback.
[00:35:00–00:39:19] How to Move from Reactive to Regulated. Using emotional awareness, triggers, naming feelings, and reflection techniques, leaders can create the space between stimulus and response where growth happens.
Connect with Dr. Jaime:
Website – https://drjaimegoff.com/
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/dr_jaimegoff/
LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjaimegoff/
YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/@drjaimegoff
Goodreads – https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/235737746-the-secure-leader
Amazon – https://www.amazon.com/Secure-Leader-Discover-Leadership-Story/dp/B0FBZ39H8Y/
Bookshop – https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-secure-leader-discover-the-hidden-forces-that-shape-your-leadership-story-and-how-to-change-them/f89704d58aefbc84
Also mentioned in this episode:
Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl: https://a.co/d/8mgGTUx
Listen at vibrantculture.com/podcast or wherever you get your podcasts!
Book Nicole to help your organization ignite clarity, accountability, and energy through her SHINE™ Coaching Methodology
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Watch Nicole’s TEDx Talk: https://youtu.be/SMbxA90bfXE
