Ready to be a brand new person?
We’re giving you a “Rebirth Roadmap”…
These changes are so simple…
But they plant the seeds for you to become the best leader you can be.
And because personal development IS professional development…
We’re taking a deep dive into personal growth with my guest Kasey Tench, a Holistic Life Coach.
Kasey has developed a coaching plan that uses the seasons of nature to unlock your personal growth journey, and she’s here to share that with you.
We’ll also discuss:
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How to plant habits and desires
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The morning routine every leader needs
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Neuro-linguistic programming 101
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Taking care of your inner child
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And more
Mentioned in this episode:
Transcript
Kasey Tench: It’s important we plant multiple seeds. We figure out what are the things that we desire in life. Begin those, nourish those, and then see what will come to harvest.
Voiceover: You’re listening to the Build a Vibrant Culture podcast with professional speaker, coach and consultant Nicole Greer.
Nicole Greer: Hey everybody. Welcome to the Build a Vibrant Culture podcast. My name is Nicole Greer, and they call me the vibrant coach. And today on the show, I have Kasey Tench. I am so excited to have her on the show. She is a former public educator who’s turned into a holistic life coach. But don’t stop there. Because here’s what I know. Every executive, every leader needs a life coach, because you got just one big life, right? It’s your home life, your personal life, your work life, it’s one life.
And here’s what Kasey and I have decided on. Personal development is professional development. So we have her on the show today. And through holistic practices, she has done a lot of work around burnout. Hello, those of you who are burnt out out there, you may need to hear a little bit what she has to say. She used to be a public educator and she realized that there is a more of a need for support services out there in the world. She has overcome mental and physical health struggles. And in her journey to overcome that she has accomplished what we would call a rebirth. And so she is here today to talk about her rebirth roadmap.
She also has a coaching certification in neuro linguistic programming. So I’m hoping she’ll share a little bit about that with us. And she’s going to help us just be a brand new person. So if you can think what seeds are you ready to plant what leaves do you need to shed. Don’t miss this whole plant analogy here. Through this roadmap, she has helped many people transform and get into a state where they can be rebirthed. Start again. Go again, plant new seeds get rolling. So welcome to the show, Kasey.
Kasey: Hey, Nicole. Thank you so much for having me. And what an intro. I believe that personal development is professional development. And the stronger we are both mentally and physically ourselves, the better we can show up in the workplace. So I mean, that intro was just, it was amazing. So thank you.
Nicole: Oh, you’re welcome. You’re welcome. And I, you know, I started out my whole career doing life coaching as well. And if I can just be real honest, Kasey, people ask me, what kind of coach are you? And I’m just like that. To be honest, the question irritates me, because a coach technically is just gonna help you get your seat in the chair, get your mind opened up and help you start thinking about how you can get to where you want to go. So the word coach comes from like that old fashioned word of like, you know, Cinderella got in the coach and went to the ball. It’s that same kind of idea. So we can help you do that professionally, you know, personally, and you can be 15 years old, or you can be a 35 year old executive, it doesn’t really matter. Our job is to ask questions and get you on the road. Am I right?
Kasey: Yes, ma’am. It is so funny. You brought up asking questions. Because when I was little, that was one of the things about me that got on my dad’s nerves the most, was all the questions that I asked. And look at me now. Asking questions that are encouraging personal growth in people. And a question I get asked a lot is, well, what do you do? What do you what do you help your clients do? And like you said, it’s so difficult to answer that because I feel like, what are we not talking about? We’re talking about everything. What do you want to improve on? Where do you need to improve on? That’s what we do.
Nicole: That’s right. That’s right. And for you, listeners, if you haven’t heard me say this before, I’ve got a little TEDx talk. And the question, A Question is the name of my TEDx talk, and it’s, you know, what do you really want. And I think that’s really what coaches help people do is figure out if you don’t know what you want, what do you want, and then we’re gonna help you figure out ways to get there. And that’s why Kasey has this thing called the rebirth roadmaps. Because sometimes, you know, you’ve been doing something for a while, and it’s kind of like, I need to reinvent myself, I need to do something new and sassy and fun, good, and I could be doing more. And that’s what we help people do. So that’s fantastic. Well, you know, before we get into the rebirth roadmap, though, I want to ask you your definition of leadership. I am collecting definitions. What’s your definition?
Kasey: Okay, so, sidenote, I love this question. To me leadership is doing. It is getting your hands dirty. It is not just telling someone how to do something. It’s not just telling someone to do something, it’s showing them how. It is doing it along with them. It is more showing and less telling. Leadership to me is displaying that I will not ask anything of you that I will not or have not already done myself.
Nicole: Yeah. And that’s the proverbial lead by example thing, right? Yeah. And hey, you know, there’s this book out there, it’s on my, it’s in my stack of stuff. I’m wondering if any of you listeners have read it. I don’t know if you’ve read it, Kasey, but it’s by Simon Sinek. I don’t know how old the book is. But just, you know, there’s so many out there. But this one just came across my radar, and it’s called, Leaders Eat Last, you know. So it’s this kind of thing of lead by example. So that’s on my reading list. Everybody let’s get that read and talk about it sometime. All right. So I love what you’re saying, lead by example, that one’s been around a long time. It is absolutely true. Because here’s what happens, Kasey. People respect you when you go first.
Kasey: Yeah. And they realize that you’re not asking something of them because you just want somebody to do your work for you. They really feel that camaraderie and the belongingness, like a family atmosphere. Like I can do this, because you’re doing it. And I know you can do it, because I am. And so there’s a lot of connection in there.
Nicole: Yeah, yeah. And, and so I think that, you know, going first and eating last. And, you know, getting that respect from people is absolutely essential. All right, well, let’s do this, let’s, let’s take our leaders into this idea that they can actually reinvent themselves, have a rebirth. Be something different than they are today. And so you have a little, you know, formula that you go through, and it’s your roadmap outline. And so the first thing that you do when you work with people is plant seeds, so that they can get their habit straight, figure out their desires. So it goes back to what do you really want. So will you talk a little bit about why you start with planting habits and desires?
Kasey: Well, I structured my business around the framework that Mother Nature has given us. This ties in to me being a holistic, professional. I am also very naturalistic myself. I believe that we as humans move through the same seasons that Mother Nature goes through. And this is physically, mentally, emotionally. This is in our relationships. This is in our habits and our professional life. When we create projects, you know, the first step of a project is not presenting it, it’s sitting down to make it first. It is writing down all of your ideas. What is the project that you want to create? And then once you have those ideas, you figure out, okay, well which one’s the best, that’s the one I’m going to choose. That’s the seed I’m going to plant. And the way to nourish and cultivate anything really strong is to first plant it. To first start it, and not all seeds that you plant really take root. Are you a gardener, Nicole?
Nicole: I am. And I have a beautiful yard. In fact, I was just out the front yard yesterday. My camellia plants are about ready to bloom and I just go out there and I look at him and I talked to them. I’m like, come on girls, let’s go because the camellias are girls so, because her name’s Camellia. So I’m out there talking to them all the time. Yeah. And then I have a little plot of dirt out in the back that’s got some rosemary, some thyme, some carrots, some things, yeah.
Kasey: You’re speaking my language girl. So, you know that every seed that you plant is not going to turn into an actual plant. Some seeds just won’t take to fruit, fruition. And some plants that when you repot them, they won’t be happy. And they also will not grow into a really bountiful plant themselves. So that is why it’s important. We we plant multiple seeds. We figure out what are the things that we desire in life, begin those. Norrish those and then see what will come to harvest.
Nicole: Right, right. Yeah. So when you’re talking about that, I think sometimes people, they don’t know what seeds to put in the ground. So they’ll miss the season. You know what I mean? It’s like, well, you got to put them in the ground in Spring, you know, because they’re, they’re not, but what I’m hearing you say is like, if you’ve got this idea, I might want to go back to school. I might want to get my resume together, I might want to, you know, go for that promotion. You’re saying get the seeds in the ground.
Kasey: Do it. Yeah, you won’t know unless you try. And I believe, you know, we can be professionally in spring, while in our household and in our families, we can be in fall. We can be professionally in summer, while our social groups are in winter. You know, I don’t believe that all aspects of our life are all going to be new all at the same time. And so they’re are people who, who feel like well, I’m too old? I’m too old to start something new.
Nicole: Oh, my gosh, I hear that all the time. Talk about it, girl. Talk about it, talk about it.
Kasey: That’s not true. It’s not true. I want to know, whose rule is that? Is that your rule? Did you make that rule? And most commonly, whenever I’m talking with people that they will realize that you know what, that’s not my rule. I do believe I can start fresh whenever I want to. But society told me I couldn’t. Well, what you doing listening to society? Does society pay your bills? No. So just the idea of planting new seeds, do it when you have the seeds, when you have the idea. Start then. Just start jotting down different notes, figuring out where these ideas are going to lead to.
Nicole: 100%. And so what she just said, everybody is you’re not too old to start anything. Yeah, in fact, I was just talking with a gal this morning about Georgia O’Keeffe. So speaking of flowers, so for those of you don’t know, Google up Georgia O’Keeffe, and look, because she was a an artist, an acclaimed artist, her pictures go for 1000s and 1000s of dollars now, but she didn’t start painting until she was well over 70. So you can start anything, anytime you want in life. Plus, we’re all living a lot longer than we ever dreamed. Right?
So thank you modern science. Okay. So spring, so let’s go through these because you kind of said you could be in different parts of your life in different seasons. So let’s go over them. So spring is all about planting seeds getting habits in place. And before we go past the word habits, what are some what are some habits you think leaders really need to get dialed in? What do they need to be doing regularly? What would be some great habits that you encourage people to do?
Kasey: Personally or professionally? Let’s do both. Let’s do both. Okay. Personally, I believe your morning routine is number one. I like to call this in my client sessions, I call this beginning the day on your own terms. Because what happens during your day you cannot control. But how you begin the day in your own home, as soon as your feet touch the ground, when you get out of bed, that’s starting your day on your own terms. Also choosing to begin the day with a regulated nervous system. And regulating the nervous system is something that I also practice. It’s one of the holistic practices that are in my client sessions. So for example, I don’t check my phone, righ when I wake up. I let my phone stay on my nightstand while I get up, brush my teeth, wash my face, make my tea, feed the dogs, all the good stuff.
I will not check my phone for the first minimum 30 minutes. Why? Because as soon as you check your phone, your nervous system activates, and you need to respond to something. So beginning my day on my own terms, I begin in a regulated state. And I begin in a grounded state so I can be stronger in a sense to take on my day. So the number one habit personally, and professionally, honestly, is having a morning routine that works for you. Because my morning routine may not work for you, and yours may not work for me. And so it’s just finding the different grooves that work best for you. Professionally, check your email first is the thing that I have to say as soon as you walk into your office, just like you begin your day at home, begin your day with intention at work.
So as soon as you begin your workday, check your email, create your list of the top three most important things that you want to get done today. I know and I have fallen victim to the to do list many times. And so we may create a list of what we want to get done in that day. And there’s 10 things on it. And that’s overwhelming to see. And it’s overwhelming to accomplish. And so if we can just write down my three top most important priorities of the day, if I can get these three things done, the other things can maybe get done tomorrow. So morning routine, don’t check your phone first when you wake up, when you get to work, check your email, make your to do list of three things.
Nicole: Fantastic. Yeah. And so I love what you’re saying because we got to move to big rocks right? And you know, there’s a book by a guy named Brian Tracy, I’ll throw this out here for everybody. It keeps coming around. It’s an older book, but I had it come up in an interview the other day, it’s popping up everywhere. So I’m gonna pull it off the shelf. But he says in there eat, it’s called Eat That Frog. And, and he says, you know, the thing you need to do is the most unpleasant, ugly thing on your list. Do that first. And he says then the rest of your days like oh, I got that ugly thing done. I ate a frog.
And now I can sail through these other two things that are on my three things list, right? So I would just add to it, put the ugly thing at the top and get that sucker out of the way. Eat the frog. Awesome. That’s awesome. Yeah. And so if you do that, you know you have here in the notes that you It means that people start to cultivate resilience and inner trust. So tell me a little bit about like, you get these habits in place. And then you know, how does resilience serve somebody? And what do you mean by inner trust? Talk a little bit about that.
Kasey: Okay, I’d love to. So resilience this is this is your ability to bounce back, when you’ve fallen down. You know, fall down eight times stand up nine. And the way that you cultivate resilience in yourself, is by creating small goals. Such as tomorrow morning, when I wake up, I’m not going to check my phone for the first 30 minutes. You wake up, you don’t do it. What you just did is prove to yourself that you can do what you said you’re gonna do. You begin to trust yourself in the tiniest, most miniscule ways. And when you can trust yourself to get the small things done, when it comes time to eat the frog, you know, you’ve got it. You know you can do it, because you did everything else you said you were gonna do.
And so that’s resilience, that’s inner trust, that’s getting the things done that you say you’re going to get done. And start small, don’t start with some huge task. Because when you make a goal that you know, is not realistic, then when you don’t get it done, you tend to beat themselves up over it, and maybe shame themselves. And that moves completely against the inner trust, that provides a bigger wedge. So I say start small. Practice doing the small things that you can actually get done. So then when it comes time to face a larger task, you know, I got this, I can do it.
Nicole: Oh, so I want to add to that. So Kasey, there’s this guy named BJ Fogg. And he talks about habits and layering, little small steps, little small goals. And so what you’re saying is perfectly genius. Because his thing is, is like you do the one thing you don’t check your phone. And then let’s say the next thing you do is 20 minutes of yoga. And then the third thing you do is that you read something inspirational in the morning. And so now before you know it, you’ve got this beautiful morning routine that regulates your system. Like you said, I love how you say that.
So that you’ve got this calmness that you bring to your work before you just let that phone trigger you. So genius stuff. Fantastic. Fantastic. All right, so good. All right. So that is all about spring. So let’s, let’s talk a little bit about summer. Now we’ve got our plants in the ground, we’ve worked on our morning routine, we’ve got a little goal setting going on at work, which is genius. So now what happens in summer? What happens to us now? Something about weed start to pop up.
Kasey: Okay, so you said you have a garden. In the summer, the weeds are growing. The weeds, they are there. Weeds are something that grows that you did not plant, you don’t want them there. But they keep showing up, you might pluck them, and then they come back bigger. So the weeds, you didn’t get the roots out. So if we can think about any habits, that we have. Relationships that we have, tendencies that we have, desires that we have that are weeds. These are things we did not plant, but for some reason they keep showing up. I don’t know why it’s here. Maybe it was planted by somebody else. This could be a thought process of I’m too old to start something new. That’s a weed. Somebody planted that, that wasn’t you. It could be.
Nicole: And the opposite is true, too. I talk to young people, and they say I’m too young to try that. I don’t have enough experience. Yeah, it goes both ways, really.
Kasey: Yeah. And whose fear is that? It’s not yours. Somebody gave that to you. And I do a lot of inner child work in my session. So not to dive too far into that. But probably your parents if we’re getting real deep down into the nitty gritty of it. But this could be a habit of people who check their phone in the morning. That’s just what they do. It’s just a habit. It’s a weed. Did you decide that you have to do that? Or is that just something that that happened and you don’t know where it came from? And so get into the root of that, not just talking about it, but get into the root of it. Where did it come from, which goes back into the inner child stuff, which is most commonly the root.
And a lot of routes are just limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves. Getting adult things done shows up in a lot of my client sessions. Calling the cable company, nobody wants to do that. Why? Why? Why are you avoiding that task? In the workplace, it could be asserting a boundary, maybe it’s your morning at work and you’re trying to check your emails and get your day started. But you’ve got that one colleague that wants to come in and just talk talk, talk, talk talk, and you don’t know how to respectfully and politely tell them hey, like, in my morning routine right now. And that’s a weed. Why do you not feel safe or confident enough to ask for time for yourself for productivity?
Nicole: Yeah, absolutely. And you know, I love that you call it a weed. And because you are tapping on my little inner gardener, and I’ve got a little exercise that I do with folks, and I’m sure it’s something similar to what you do. But like I have people just list make a list of things is like, on one side, something I want more of, just because I find, I don’t know, if you find this Kasey, but I find that people, like they don’t feel like they deserve to want more, or it’s wrong to want a different life or new things or better or something like they’ve been told you should be happy.
Yeah, and you should be happy. I mean, there’s a lot of, I live in America, I got food to eat today, I got a roof over my head, I’m happy. But the desire to have a little bit more or a better life or, or more results or outcomes that are better. That’s perfectly fine to want. So I’ll have people fill out, somebody says, you know, what do you really want and then on the other side, I haven’t put what I want less of. Because sometimes people can’t start with what they want. They have to start with what they want less of. And what they want less of is weeds.
Kasey: Yes, absolutely.
Nicole: 100%. Okay, so, when you work with Kasey, she’ll help you dig out the root of where your potential blocks come from. That’s when she’s saying you’re gonna do her inner, inner, say it again. Inner child.
Kasey: Inner child healing.
Nicole: Okay, we got to do that, all right, because everybody’s got a little baby girl or baby boy on the inside that needs some love, right?
Kasey: You know, the inner child healing, it can be a new concept to a lot of people. But just like you said, we all have it. We all have that smaller version of ourselves inside of us. And sometimes they can dictate our lives and we don’t even know it. But tapping into it and realizing when we react from a hurt space, if you’ve ever had an interaction with an adult, and you think they really just had a whole temper tantrum, that was their inner child coming out. And they could benefit from connecting with their inner child to figure out what about this made me want to have a temper tantrum when I’m in my 40s. So that’s the root, your inner child is most commonly the root.
Nicole: Yeah, that’s absolutely. That’s absolutely right. Yeah. All right. So then we move into the season of fall. And so in fall, you you’ve given me some great notes here, you say that, that at this stage of the game, we’ve got to acknowledge the leaves, or the self sabotaging habits that you got to get rid of. hat you got to shed. So talk about self sabotage. First of all, that sounds spicy.
Kasey: It is spicy. Self sabotage is when you go against yourself. It is when you create a goal. Maybe you want to move your body three times a week. And then when it comes time you get home from work and you have time to go move your body you say, think I’d rather just catch up on this episode of Below Deck, watch some Bravo. I say that because Below Deck is my favorite thing to watch in the evening. But when you go against yourself, you set a goal. You don’t do it. Instead, you fall back, I call it new story old story. You fall back into your old story. You fall back into your old habits.
Self sabotage could be pressing the snooze button 10 different times in the morning, when it’s time to wake up and you decide you just want to press snooze every time you hear your alarm. That’s self sabotage. Self sabotage could be not feeding yourself breakfast, not feeding yourself lunch. It could be saying yes, when you want to say no. Somebody asks you, hey, I’ve got so much on my workload today. You know, could you handle this meeting for me? And you say, yeah, I got that. And then you walk away. You’re like, why did I just do that? Why did I just say yes, when I am obviously also bogged down right now. Self sabotage is anything where you go against yourself.
Nicole: Yeah, I love that. I love that. And, and a couple of things that you said, remind me of a little model that I like to share. So listeners, you may have heard this before, I’m gonna repeat myself. I think sometimes people self sabotage and this is gonna go back to our inner child. People self sabotage, because they have like these three, like, needs that children need. And the three needs that children have are a need for approval. Like you’re a good girl. You’re a good boy. They have a need for security. Like you’re okay, I’m holding you. You’re all right. You’re good. You’re safe. I got you, mommy’s got you.
And then the third thing is like control. If you’ve ever been around a two year old you know what that looks like? You’re like put your shoes on they go no. Eat your broccoli. No. You know, so this desire to control our little world we live in and it should be the older you get, the less you need approval, security and control. And like that the part, the story you shared was really good about how people will agree to something. And they’re like, why did I just do that? I don’t want to do that. And that’s because they either wanted to control the meeting, they thought, oh, I’ll get fired if I don’t do the meeting. They’ll lose security. Or nobody will like me if I say no.
Kasey: So you’re receiving some kind of validation from it. And it’s, of course, subconscious validation. And so, to your listeners, I challenge you if you are the person that says yes, when you really mean no, sit with that, reflect on it. Think about why did I just do that? Is it because you have the opportunity to control the narrative? Is it because you just really want to prove to somebody that you have the ability to get the job done? Is it because you want somebody to tell you that you’re doing a good job? Why are you doing this?
Nicole: Yeah, yeah. When when you still don’t have 1, 2, 3 on your to do list you did this morning when you first got to work? Am I right? Yeah. Right, right. Well, if I get these three done, maybe I can help you. But I gotta get these three things done first, right. Okay, that’s awesome. That’s awesome. All right. So the other thing you have on your rebirth roadmap, which I love that is that people have to move out of their comfort zone, and that they need to get rid of limiting beliefs and learn to reframe them. So wow, that is like, huge, we could talk about that for six hours. But tell me a little bit about how people need to move out of their comfort zone and do that.
Kasey: The comfort zone, your comfort zone is where you play small. That is where you will not find growth in your comfort zone. And you know, ironically enough, we probably aren’t even all that comfortable in our comfort zone. But it’s what we know, which is what makes it comfortable. It’s familiar to us. Your comfort zone is a space that leads to stagnation. And so I encourage my clients to think about something that makes them wildly uncomfortable. Yesterday in a session, one of my clients, she said, disagreeing with somebody makes me wildly uncomfortable. I feel like it’s going to be a fight.
And so my challenge to her was, in these next few weeks, when somebody says something that you don’t agree with, I’m not telling you to get in a fight with them. I’m just telling you to maybe verbalize or suggest that I have a different perspective than you do. And she was like, wow, I can tell somebody I have a different perspective. Yes, you can. It’s safe, it’s safe to share your perspective with others. And you never know, they may, they may appreciate your perspective. As far as the release of limiting beliefs. A limiting belief is a belief system that you have, it might be subconsciously, but a belief system that you have that limits. This could be, I’m not smart enough to give that presentation.
Nicole: Exactly right. People question their intelligence, they question, again, the knowledge, skills, abilities. You know, sometimes people will be like, I’m not sure I can do that. And I’m thinking, you’ve been in that position for 10 years. I think you’re ready. You know, like, there’s just this little voice that’s, you know, talking to you saying you can’t do it.
Kasey: Yeah. And so the reframe would be I have the talents and the experience that makes me worthy of providing this presentation. And so with something like that, if I have a client that says they’re not smart enough, I will ask them, do you have the experience? Of course. Okay, do you have the talents? Yes. Okay, you’re worthy. You’re worthy of it. And then they are able to move into it and then we will dive further into that smartness. Why do they believe they’re not smart? Whose label is that? Where did it come from? And you know, there’s a root hanging out in there somewhere that we will figure out, and we’re going to pluck it out.
Nicole: Oh, that’s so good. That’s so good. All right. Love it. Okay, so let’s go into winter. You say this is releasing unconscious habits that hold you back. So don’t miss this everybody. Habits, habits, habits, and they all know, the listeners that have listened before they know that my coaching methodology is SHINE and my H and shine is all about habits. Man they can serve you or they can slay you. So talk about releasing unconscious habits and this is our winter season.
Kasey: Winter. You know, if we think about what’s going on and Mother Nature during winter. Cold outside, we are not outside we are in our houses. This is the time to move inward. The leaves that have fallen from the trees are now decaying on the ground, and they’re turning into compost to nourish the soil and the earth so that tree can then grow back even stronger in spring. So I talk about winter and the the decay of it. Grief, mourning. My clients are like, oh my gosh, I don’t want to talk about it.
But we do it in a really safe container again, with a regulated nervous system. An unconscious habit that I see often that holds people back is the need to isolate when they have a different perspective or opinion from the people around them. Instead of standing strong and bold in your truth and speaking, whatever it is, you play small. And when you play small, you self isolate, you retract. And you move, you move away from the people that maybe you don’t agree with, instead of being fierce enough to have that difficult conversation.
Nicole: Yeah, that’s awesome. Yeah. So we have gone through, like all four seasons, and like, I just want to reiterate what you’re saying kind of wrap a bow on it, is that, you know, in different parts of our lives, we’re moving through the seasons. And really what we need to do is have some serious awareness about what season we’re in. Now, I know you want to offer something for free to everybody. So will you talk a little bit about that? She’s going to talk about journaling. Which some of you are like journaling. Okay, but hold on everybody.
Kasey: Don’t let me lose you yet. Okay.
Nicole: That’s right. Listen up people!
Kasey: Journaling. Journaling is a safe space to talk about your feelings. If you don’t like talking about your feelings, this is a safe space to talk about what’s going on in your head. What is the problem, either personally or professionally, that you can not work out for the life of you, and you don’t want to talk about it with anybody else. That’s why you pick up your journal. You start writing. There’s something magnificent about journaling. And it is after you have began writing for six minutes, six minutes is that magic, that magic point, once you have crossed that six minute threshold, your subconscious thoughts begin to flow through the pen and onto the paper.
You are able to work through problems and situations that you otherwise would have not been able to work through. And you don’t have to go to therapy for it, guys. You just had to get a piece of paper out and write some things down. So for me, the thought of just writing things down felt foreign to me when I first began this journey through journaling. And so I really liked prompted journaling. I really liked having the journal prompts that would help pull these thoughts out that were just underlying. Hanging out there in my subconscious. And so I created this journaling guide. It’s a freebie for you guys. And it’s seven days of journaling. There are morning prompts, and there are evening prompts. At the end of the journaling guide, I wrote a little note to you, as the writer. And I share about why morning and evening. And it’s becuase you have an anchor. Think about book ends.
If you visualize two bookings holding two, holding the books together on a shelf, you are beginning your day with the intention. What do I want this day to look like? What do I fear this day will look like? And then at the very end of the day you reflect. Did the day go as planned? Was there anything that went better? And you get to reflect on that. And so I think that just seven days of journaling, we’ll be able to open up your perspective on the whole thought process. And I have a note that says the purpose of this is so you figure out the prompts that you really like, and you keep what you like, and you ditch what you don’t. And that is that is the personal growth journey.
Nicole: That’s fantastic. Yeah. And again, let’s reiterate the personal growth journey is part of the professional growth journey. Right? So these two things go together like peas and carrots, peanut butter and jelly.
Kasey: Personal growth is professional growth.
Nicole: 100%. Well, I have loved talking to you about going through the seasons. I think that is a wonderful way, a wonderful analogy, metaphor for people to kind of understand. And so we’ve got one listener out there that’s going, I wish she would give me one more thing, one more nugget. One more download. What would be the thing that you would leave everybody with? What would be the last thing you would leave folks with?
Kasey: You know, we didn’t get a chance to talk about NLP. And I want to just briefly touch on linguistics. Your language. That connection, NLP, neuro linguistic is mind and language, and connecting the two together. And there is a correlation in how we speak about our reality and how we think about our reality and what we receive. And this is magnificent both personally and professionally. But professionally, if you are walking into work with the mindset of this day is going to be hard. This is going to be difficult. The people that you work with, they aren’t pulling their weight. They’re lazy. Every time you look up from your desk, somebody is chit chatting over there. Going to the bathroom all the time. Why are they popping popcorn? This is what you’re looking for. This is what your thoughts are giving you information on.
When you speak about your work life in such a negative way and negative connotation. When you think about it, that is precisely what you are going to receive. And Neuro Linguistic Programming is retraining our brain, retraining our language, retraining the way that we perceive the world. And so if you are that person that is looking around and your world is unfavorable right now, I challenge you to flip that lens and try to look around for the things that you might enjoy. 10 years from now, when you’re no longer in this situation, what can you look back on fondly about this space? And there’s one word that I also want to challenge your listeners to remove from their vocabulary. Are you ready? It’s a it’s a big one.
Nicole: Let’s do it. Let’s see what you got.
Kasey: The word, should.
Nicole: Oh, I tell people all the time, they should not should all over themselves. Oh.
Kasey: Stop shoulding yourself. The word should carries the energetics of shame. And I don’t know about you Nicole, but I have had enough people in my life try to shame me, that I refuse to shame myself from this point further. Using the word should creates shame. If you say I should have gotten that done, or I should be doing this. Every time you say that, you’re creating embedded shame inside of your body. So instead, what word can we use instead? Practice using the word want. I want to get this done. I want to finish this. If you want to do it, you probably will. But if you say I should, there’s going to be shame around it. And then when you don’t get it done, you’re going to feel like crap about yourself.
Nicole: Amen, and that’s what belongs in the compost pile. The crap. Yeah. Oh my goodness. It’s been so good to have you on the Build a Vibrant Culture podcast. Let’s do this. Let’s have you come back and do a whole session on NLP. Let’s slice and dice this. Yeah.
Kasey: You talked me in to it.
Nicole: Okay. Very good. Very good. All right. So everybody, tell everybody where they can find you on the internet? What’s your website?
Kasey: Okay, my website is www.kaseytench.com. I believe Nicole is going to be linking the freebie for you guys. I do a lot on Instagram. So if you have an Instagram, look me up. It is kasey__t. Send me a message. Let me know that you heard me here on the podcast and I would love to have a conversation with you. Look forward to getting in touch with you guys.
Nicole: All right, everybody. It’s been Kasey Tench and Nicole Greer. We hope you have a wonderful day and that you’ll build a vibrant culture with the content that we’ve delivered. Thanks so much for listening.
Voiceover: Ready to build your vibrant culture? Bring Nicole Greer to speak to your leadership team, conference or organization to help them with her strategies, systems and smarts to increase clarity, accountability, energy and results. Your organization will get lit from within. Email Nicole@nicolegreer.com. And be sure to check out Nicole’s TEDx talk at nicolegreer.com.
