If you’re not telling the story, they are… This week, on the Vibrant Leadership Podcast, we speak with award-winning storyteller Kelly Swanson about the power of intentional stories and how leaders can tap into that power when trying to influence, motivate, and introduce change to their audience. Kelly is a mentor, author, comedian, and motivational speaker with over 20 years of experience working with people to shape their stories into instruments of persuasion. She has studied the science behind persuasive stories and has translated that knowledge from stories simply for entertainment purposes into tools for the business world.
Stories can move people, build trust, bring experiences to life, allow the listener to see change possibilities before they happen, and impact business. Whether trying to close a sale with potential buyers, landing a new client, or motivating current employees, Kelly’s insights into storytelling help people create a personal connection, make an emotional investment, and shape a vision they will want to buy into.
On this week’s episode, Kelly shares real-life examples of how she’s seen stories impact both large audiences and single customers. She also breaks down the following key concepts into actionable steps:
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The two types of stories for leaders and business professionals
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The story formula to highlight the value of what you do
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Change management stories and the questions they need to answer
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And more
Since the beginning of time, stories have been used to influence people in ways no other communication style can. This conversation is a must-listen for all leaders who want to get beyond the data and tell stories that will change people. Let’s get started!
Mentioned in this episode:
Transcript
Kelly Swanson: Data and information and facts cannot move people. But story can.
Voiceover: You’re listening to the Vibrant Leadership Podcast with leadership speaker and consultant, Nicole Greer.
Nicole Greer: All right. Welcome, everybody to another episode of the Vibrant Leadership Podcast. My name is Nicole Greer and I am the Vibrant Coach. And today with me I have none other than Kelly Swanson. And Kelly Swanson, let me tell you she is an amazing human being and has been a mentor in my life, a leader in my life and somebody that you know, like, has anybody ever asked you this question who’s living the life that you most want to live?
In my book, it would be Kelly Swanson because she is an amazing speaker and award winning storyteller, a cast member of the fashion hero TV show. She’s a comedian, a motivational speaker and performer in the one woman theater show who hijacked my fairy tale. And she’s the author of The Story Formula, which all of you leaders out there need to get your hands on and Who Hijacked My Fairy Tale. When she’s not on the stage making you laugh and charming you with her stories, she’s backstage teaching you how to tap into the power of story. And don’t miss this have more influence in your world. Okay, so I’m so happy to have you here. Kelly Swanson, you are amazing.
Kelly: So excited to be here. The feeling is mutual. And hello, everybody listening. Hope you’re doing well. Thanks for joining us today. Appreciate it.
Nicole: Yeah, yeah. So I first went to a National Speakers Association meeting, and Kelly Swanson was there and she was running around in a pair of these leopard shoes. And I thought she’s the type of girl I need to hang out with.
Kelly: Well I can’t wear the leopard shoes anymore. I’ve moved on to nursing shoes, because they’re comfortable. So I just wear leopard pants now.
Nicole: Well I’ve got you on my vibrant leadership podcast today, because you were in leadership that day at the NSA, you were at the front of the room, you were leading the program. And and since that day, I have listened to your videos and been a big, big fan. So tell me, how do you do leadership in your business? I know you’re an entrepreneur, but you know, you have to be a leader of your own business. There’s a lot of entrepreneurs that listen in.
Kelly: Sure. And first, I want to say it when it comes to leadership. There’s a lot of people talking about leadership now. And there always has been I kind of joke I don’t know Nicole if you ever feel like this, that there’s a leadership speaker or expert born every minute, just like a customer, or a customer service speaker born every minute and people say, oh leadership, how hard could that be? I’ll write a book about it when they’ve never really held a position of leadership, or been in any position of leadership, or even studied it. And that’s why I’m so excited to be on your podcast. Because I’m like, finally I get it. I’m in front of somebody who you’re the real deal. I’ve been following you for gosh, I don’t even 15-20 years. And you just you’re spot on, you know what you’re talking about, you know how to help people create change. So sorry to discuss. So I want to tell everybody too that I’m not.
Nicole: I appreciate it.
Kelly: Oh, well, you’re welcome. You’re welcome. I just want to tell everybody, I’m not coming from the perspective of someone who has, you know, been a general in the military or a CEO, I’m coming to you because I’ve spent 20 years on a stage, trying to figure out how to get in front of a group of people, and change their mind and make them feel valued, and help them see their jobs in a different way. Or help them get more excited about the change that’s coming and I’m the stranger in the room, I don’t have a chance to earn their respect or their trust. I’ve got, you know, minutes or hours or so I am here today, not necessarily as the leadership expert, I’m here, because I consider myself on the expert of the best tool you can ever have when it comes to impacting and influencing people. So I’m excited that we can talk today Nicole about why that matters. So much in our business when it comes to leadership, accidental or intentional leadership positions.
Nicole: Right. Right. And I love your answer. Because you know, what you said was is? You know, I’m not claiming to be something I’m not, which is a great leadership trait. Right? great leaders need to say, let me tell you what I am. And let me tell you what I’m not and then find other people to come around. And I kind of heard you say that. Another thing I heard you say I said I study. I’ve been studying leadership for a long time. And really the greatest thing that you can share with us is like the power of story, because you all I cannot tell you what a great storyteller Kelly Swanson is. So tell us a little bit. Go ahead, go ahead.
Kelly: I appreciate that. I appreciate that. I have, it’s the one thing that I really know how to do, other than making people laugh, and feel good, which we’re not going to do on today’s call. If we do that it’s accidental. We’re here to just really look at the tool and the craft. So thank you. It’s, it’s the reason I am anywhere in my business in my career, is because of the power of story. And I’ve learned how to tap into it and use it intentionally. And it served me well.
Nicole: Yeah. So so you know, I think, you know, leaders, they stand at the front of the room, they stand at the front of the company, and they give direction, they tried to make sure people are resourced. And they say, will you all help me and get commitment. But I think along the way, a story can go a long, long way, and help you helping people see where we’re going. So, so tell me about the power of story. If I’m a leader, how do I put it to work? And how do I get started?
Kelly: Sure. Sure. I get a lot of people, it’s easier to see how story fits into leadership than other types of industries. But the first question I get is, why does story matter to me in my line of business? Because I’ll make the case that it matters no matter what your job is in an organization. And the first the first answer I give is, Are you trying to influence anybody? In your work? Are there people that you need to do what you need them to do? Now for leaders, they’ll go, Oh, yeah, duh, other people that may be a step removed, and they think they aren’t, but they really are, we’re all in the business of persuasion, where we’re trying to get people to do what we want them to do. And most of us learn pretty quick that telling people what to do is not the same as making them want to do it, telling people, this is what you’re good at
Nicole: Say that again. Say that again. That’s really good.
Kelly: Telling people what to do is not the same thing as making them want to do it. Now, you could influence from a dictator perspective, and I’m going to tell you, you’re going to do it, because this is your job, and you need to do it. Because I said so. Or you’ll lose your job. Now, that works to some degree. But I think people are happier, when they feel motivated, when they love the work that they do when they take ownership in it when they feel valued and respected. I think when we can, as leaders work to actually not make our people happy, I don’t like that term. It’s not about making people happy. It’s about making them feel valued, then they will work harder for us.
I mean, don’t we want people who are embracing the vision without rolling their eyes, or talking smack about us in the hallway, or adding to a negative storyline that’s running through the organization, I think all of us on the call would want people who get along are happy to be there who don’t work against us, who are not in some silo doing the work for themselves. But seeing the bigger picture. I think most everybody on this call would nod and say, yeah, we want people like that. So if you’re trying to influence someone, and I learned quickly as a speaker, that I could not get on that stage, in that keynote, or in that workshop and think that I could give them 57 tips on how to be better customer service and rock their world, I’ve got to first make them feel like they that it’s important to them to deliver better customer service, I’ve got to motivate them to want to do say something, I also have to get them.
I’m rambling, but I’ll be clear in a moment, I also have to get them to trust me, we’re salespeople, when we’re selling this vision, or when we’re selling this idea or trying to get get buy in no, we don’t have a product, but we are we’re selling it to them. And what’s the cardinal rule of selling is that people buy or you get buy in from people they like, trust, believe and feel like they know. So how they feel about you. And this whole equation is important how they feel about themselves, because nobody cares about your story, they care about theirs, and finding a way to merge the two and find out what drives them and what their pains and desires and needs are and those emotions attached are where you find that magical gold in when it comes to trying to influence people to want to do what you’re telling them to do. And all of this there is science behind it. It’s not just my opinion, data and information and facts cannot move people. But story can.
Story can get into their inner places. It can show them who you are, it can develop trust, it can tap into what their pains and desires are. And it can in essence, bring that vision to life in a way that everybody wants to be part of it. That’s a big aerial view of a topic I could spend a week Nicole breaking down and explaining why you really need to give them my free gift. I don’t think we talked about that. But before we get off the call, give them a free gift link because it’ll it’ll have my Book a training video and some other resources. I’ll talk today about the big why. But that free get and there’s no strings attached. I mean, I’m not selling you anything, but that’ll let you go deeper into the how. So today, we can just focus on why. That was kind of a long winded answer. So help me rate it into something more sensible, oh wise one.
Nicole: No, no. Well, the thing that I want to reiterate is because I kind of like to take a pause so that my listeners, you know, they could be, they might be on a treadmill right now or, you know, driving down the road, not taking notes. But one thing that Kelly just said that I don’t know, and she’s so close to the subject, she’s just rolling off of her right. So she said there might be, don’t miss that. Might be like some negative narrative going on inside the company. And that is getting spread around because unfortunately, human nature likes that gossip hotline. So the leader better have a better narrative, a better story to tell than the one being told, you know, in the chat room on zoom today in COVID world or what used to be done around the watercooler, right, so leaders have to have that better story that trumps whatever negative nonsense is going on. So I think that’s probably the most genius thing that you said in that little space, so I love it.
Kelly: And Nicole, and I’ll apologize in advance. Because I’m a firehose, and people say you need a translator, we’re, we’re still trying to unpack what you just said. So, you know, I’m just an artist. So that’s what Nicole is here for is to unpack it. But that is exactly right. If you’re not writing the story, they are. And it isn’t just about the leader writing the story for his people, or what people are saying within the organization. It’s what your buyers are saying, it’s what they’re saying about you in the community. It’s what they’re saying on social media. And I mean, the stories can go everywhere, in terms of the many ways and places we have where we’re trying to influence our employee, our buyer, our market. And so it’s a it’s a lot to look at. Story is a tool you can take to all of those places.
Nicole: Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so, so quickly share with us kind of like maybe the structure of a good story, like if I’m a leader, and you’re like, Okay, you’re telling me to tell stories, like, you know, I understand the why I thought to make sure my message is getting out, and trump’s then maybe the negative nancies that are in my organization. So what do I put together, exactly, to get a good story together? I know that Kelly, you have workshops, and you coach people. So if you’re sitting there going, I just need to call her, just call her. But how do people put together or know they have a good story to tell? How do they tell it?
Kelly: Okay, I’m going to give you some nuggets that will help you. But I’m going to say first, please take some time studying the science behind story. I’m not going to go go into it today. But too many people think of story from a, you know, literary aspect, or storytelling or whatever, just let’s go tell a story and book, you cannot use a tool if you don’t understand how that tool works. And if you can understand anything about the science, what it’s doing to somebody’s brain, what they’re connecting to, and why then you will better understand how to find stories, how to tell them how to put them together, because you’re going to start to see what strategically is happening. But I’m not going to turn this podcast into a lesson on story.
Again, you can go to the free gift and get that. But to answer your question, even though I’m skipping that step, some basics that I like to give people and please understand that I’m trying to explain a tool that is going to have a different application for everybody on this call based on how they’re going to use it, who they’re going to use it with what they’re trying to accomplish. So it’s not an easy one size fits all answer, but I’m gonna do my best to give you what you really need to know moving forward. If you listen to nothing else. First of all, understand that the story is going to connect with them on an emotional level, deeper into themselves than just facts had the ability to do in the brain. And everybody says, well, what’s the right story? Or what’s the best story? Is this a good story? Is that a good story? Is this the best story and I say y’all are all asking the wrong question.
Because we’re not talking about story for entertainment. We’re talking about strategic storytelling to influence someone else. Don’t be looking for the best story. Look for the right story that does the work you need it to do and then work to make it better. We’re not talking about storytelling in movies or or books we’re talking about using it in business so that’s the first thing I say is release this idea that you need to be shakespeare or whatever most people are not going to take storytelling to the degree that i do as a performer the next thing I would say is think about who the story is for and what motivates and drives them I know you have something you want to quote unquote sell that person listening. Let’s just say it’s a new vision, but spend a little bit of time first not focused on what you want to say or how you want to say it or the story you want to tell.
Think about the people that you’re trying to influence. Go deeper into what their pains are their desires are and most importantly the feelings that they have attached to that. When we connect through story it’s not the plot where we connect it’s in the emotions that we recognize it’s the human condition and so when you tell someone a simple story about something you went through as a new leader I may not be able to relate to what happened to you but I will relate to how it made you feel. Frustrated out of control because there’s only a few emotions we all share. So spend a little what I call data gathering or time spent thinking about who you’re trying to influence. And then think about how you can relate to that what in your own life has allowed you to understand what they’re going through it wouldn’t have been the same kind of story but you might have been through something similar in your own life or your marriage or your community that you can relate to.
Then when you go find a story first of all understand what you want that person to think feel or do as a result of hearing that story. What you can accomplish many things with the story so know going in what you need them to think feel or do as a result. Now if you’re sitting here listening even right now scrambling going I didn’t get all of this. This is too much to write down. Whoa this is a lot. Don’t worry it’s in my book that you’re going to get for free it’s more of a workbook. It walks through all of this for you at a slow pace. So just soak it in now and just kind of listen to what I’m saying, because story is the tool that connects you emotionally. You the leader to you your listener. Your employee, or your buyer or whoever. You’re going to find a story with characters in it that mirror the people you’re talking to.
You want a story that people can relate to that has the same emotions in it that that the people you’re talking to could understand and relate to. We’re not talking right rocket science. It could just be a simple story about you know something you you and your your child went through and what you learned from it and that’s important. Every story has a point. Know the point of the story before you even start working on it. Now you may think duh. You’d be surprised how many stories I hear where i’m like gosh there’s there’s really not a point you don’t understand what that story is really about. You’re just kind of wandering all over the place giving me facts and information. One more thing and then Nicole I’m gonna let you help me bring this to a state of translation. Every story I’ll work with companies and they’ll say help us tell our company’s story.
And I’ll say well okay what have you got. And they’re like well we started in 1926 in a in a basement you know with a candle and you know a horse or whatever well horse would be the basement. And I’m like that’s not a story. That’s a list of facts. That’s information that’s data. Does it have a place? Of course of course. Data has a place in creating your vision. It’s the what we do whatever. I said but a story is about somebody. Not a collective group give make it about one person I can see and understand in the story not we here it such and such health. No give it names and faces. But a story is different. From facts and information because it has a character who has a problem and that problem has an emotion or a feeling attached to it. And then the problem gets solved.
And then there’s an emotion attached to that. And then there’s a letter of maybe a victory moment after the fact of before and after. Stories have a beginning a middle and an end. There about human experiences. Now I am convincing of all the pieces that that I believe belong in a story to give it a strategic persuasive impact, but my book goes into each one deeper. The main thing i just want you to understand is that a story is about somebody who goes through something and comes out on the other side. Now I don’t know if this would apply to any of you but when somebody then comes back and says well give me an example of a good type of story.
Nicole: Oh my gosh, I’ve seen it. Give me an example.
Kelly: I think everybody should and could and would be benefited from having actually two types of stories in their work. One called the personal story of why I do the work that I do. What does this mean to me? Why is this job personal? This work personal? You may never tell it but having this story about why the company its vision it the team the brand why this means so much to me. What’s the reward I get from working here? Not that my bosses say I should get. It may not be the paycheck. It may be the feeling that I get of helping people whatever. Everybody and when you share these stories that I’ve had people do this and they roll their eyes like oh what are we doing and then they share them and people across departments are you know they’re like oh I didn’t know you were that you were raised in a foster home.
Oh I didn’t know that happened to you. They begin to see each other as human, which is the first step in people seeing people outside and different levels of the organization as people not as job titles. So your personal story. The next type of story that almost everybody in an organization or every organization should have is what I call your customer testimonial story. Now you may use it in different places and we all pretty much know what a customer testimonial is. It’s the person who our work not maybe from our desk but our it’s the person we help. It’s the person our brand serves. That’s our customer. We know the testimonial is you know their experience of what they had here.
Now if you ever have been in a position of needing to get customer testimonials we often tend to say hey Fred can you give me a testimonial and he does and we stick it up on our website. I think we should go a step further and really give them a template and in your free gift I’ve got a book of story libs that are templates of stories that you just fill in the blank. We say hey answer these questions so we can pull from our customer the pieces we want to craft a strategically persuasive story in terms of a testimonial. But going on to a customer story and what that would look like, I would love for your homework that I won’t check and you won’t turn in. Is right this story.
Nicole: I’ll be checking it!
Kelly: Okay Nicole we’ll be checking it. Go to the to the to the ideal cause go to that customer you still remember all these years later. The one who you will never forget. And maybe you weren’t frontline with that person maybe you even heard about it or maybe you didn’t even work with them directly. But go tell the story of what that person their problem they had and how it was making them feel. Go to the solution that they got. Most definitely it would have come from your company, your brand, your product, you your nate you’re you’re you’re a cat person in accounting maybe the whole team helped whatever it is. And it’s often it can be just a small moment. It doesn’t have to be a super huge story. It can be a small moment where you saw the smile on a mother’s face and you knew that you had done something that had made her day better. Whatever that may be.
So not you’re going to tell me about this experience they had using that here’s what they went through here’s here’s how it was solved you know you can use the pieces that I give you in my book. Or just tell me about it. What they went through. But I want you to include how this made you feel. How it affected you personally. Bring a little bit of your story so you may say it made me feel real good because the whole reason I got into this line of work was because my mother did the same thing and she always used to see her taking care of people and I know she would be proud. Again I’m just pulling something out of there. But there’s something very strategic about the fact that you’re bringing your story into it. There’s science here. And so because you’re the teller you’re bringing trust. And I want you to bring in a third piece which is why it makes you proud to work for this company.
Because they value blah blah blah. I want you to sort of bring in a piece about the company’s story. And you merge you’re merging all of those into the same story and you’re achieving massive influence. You’re putting a human face on you which people buy from. So if you’re an entrepreneur, they’re not buying from, you know, suddenly this talking head has now become a mom or a dad. And we now see them as human. And that gives you more influence. When it comes to selling to them, you tell the customer story, which we all know, the whole reason it exists is because they believe what your customers and other people say about you more than you do. So they’re stepping into the story of your customer, but you’re also relating it to your brand. That’s why we here at XYZ take our work so seriously, because we believe in the principles of boom of boom, and boom. Now those three pieces, I’m now about to boil it down to what I call my story formula, in which I believe every story is about three things.
Me, it and them. Me, the teller, it the brand, or the product or whatever you’re selling, and them, the listener. And if you can tap into all three, that technically, people think my formula is all the pieces that go in a story, they get tripped up on the terminology, I really full, bring it up to a bigger area, like a stool with three prongs, that every thing. It’s this, it’s the merge of me it and them. Let me give you one example of that that might make it all come down and make sense. I joined a new gym years ago, I don’t always go in. But it says point, I sit in the parking lot eating doughnuts. But watching other people go in. That way, though, when they say later at the Walmart that they saw me at the gym, I could go oh, you sure did. And I’m not lying. But they were bought out at some point had new ownership. And they put up, you know, new colors, new everything new branding, and they put up this big old sign right in the front when you walked in. Who we are.
So of course me being the storyteller. I’m going to read it and I’m already critical going at it. They’re just going to tell me facts. They’re not going to use story. Well, they did use story. And I was like, oh, this is impressive. They told all about the story of their gym and how it started and, and and who created it. And that was interesting. I was like, okay, that’s good. Then they told me a story about the staff. You know, here’s here’s Joe. Here’s Sarah. Here’s Tim. And I was like, oh, now that’s nice. They’re they’re they’re they’re putting a human face on. Now, in this case, nobody’s telling the story. It’s on paper, but just follow me. So I read the whole thing. And I’m like, this is great. And then it stopped. And I was like, well, you told me all about how you started at the company story. And you told me about the staff, the ones you know, who would be selling to me, and I looked over on the back to see if there was any more, there’s nothing more now that you’ve just forgot the third piece. And what would the piece be? The customer.
There was not one mention, in that entire story about me, the person who’s paying to come. The person who you serve. You had such an opportunity to highlight the reason all of y’all exist, which is the transformation in the work that you do to bring in people. So they were mis, they had all three pieces. Now that is written story. I often am talking about it. Like I said story can be looked at from so many different directions in applications. When I was explaining it to you earlier, I’m picturing a leader standing up in front of his or her people or someone in a in a business, the entrepreneur in a demo video, where there is a face, there’s a human telling the story. There’s an a product and it or a message. And there’s someone ideally, that they’re there speaking to and wanting to connect with. I know that was a lot. Let me take a breath while you figure out where to take me from here.
Nicole: Okay, well, first of all, I just want to say that this is really about humans and a human connection. That I mean, Kelly said that several times over but she even threw in this thing called the human condition. And so when she’s talking about the science, the science she’s talking about is saying that like when when we all gathered around the campfire, after hunting and gathering all day, we told stories. And so this is a very ingrained thing inside of humans. That story is how we learn. Is that part of the science that you’ve gotten, and she’s also talking about how your prefrontal cortex and your amygdala and your limbic brain and all that but we don’t have time for all that today, but we’ll have her back.
Kelly: And I don’t even I don’t even explain that that fancy. I’ll let people do their own real deep research. But let’s go also back to where I started. The whole specific thing that I’m looking at, is how do we influence people in a way that truly inspires them and motivates them to want to take action. There are certainly places where you you will use facts and formation to do something different, I am going laser deep into inspiring people and motivating people I have learned as a motivational speaker and as a comedian and as a performer cannot be done by just saying, here’s what you need to do. You have to, you can’t just tell them, you’ve got to show them.
And so story is where you start tapping into their emotions. And that’s what drives people is when you start to make this emotional, or why don’t we just say, personal. And when it becomes personal, we have a connection, when we know something personal about our boss, or our leader, we see them in a more sympathetic way than when they were all business, all facts, they were just a talking head. And it’s much harder to write a negative story about someone when you’ve taken a moment to step into their shoes.
Nicole: Oh, my gosh, that was just genius. That last piece right there. Go from a talking head to a real human by telling stories. Okay, and I totally agree with that. I mean, I, I believe that, you know, we can also find that common ground, right. So when you said earlier, you were, you know, you just flow and you did bring in concepts, but you said, Oh, I didn’t know that you are you were raised in a foster home, is because you don’t know who else in the boardroom was raised in a foster home. And now you have that connection, you know, Kelly, you and I both like to get our hair done. We’re big fans are going to get our hair done.
You know how at my beauty salon, they have a name tag on and they will put on there facts about who they are as a person. And when Miguel did my hair, and it says she was from Ohio? Well, I went to high school in Ohio, and immediately we had a bond that was like, you know, like that, because we just found some common ground. And that’s when I think the intrinsic motivation as a motivational speaker, motivational manager, motivational leader, when we can turn on that intrinsic motivation, like my willingness to work for you my willingness to get after the vision, my willingness to make the widgets or whatever, that’s the magic energy, that story can evoke. Versus the extrinsic, which is what you said, I’m telling you what to do.
Kelly: Right. And I want to bring up two pieces of what you just said, remind me to tell you about. Because it’s a great example, people are probably still going, give me an example of what this looks like. So remind me about to tell you about the wedding DJ. And also wedding fishing. If you say fishing, I’ll remember what I was gonna say. But I wanted to talk to you tap into what you said about the hairdresser. I don’t know if you’ve noticed in in in several health care systems. There are they’ve set up this board, they put in a patient’s room, and they write loves oranges used to play football for ASU, they write personal information about the patient. And it’s brilliant. It is very strategic. It’s and it allows, it does two things. It allows me maybe the burned out nurse to look at this patient as a person, not a file number. And, but it also allows me when I can ask them about that for the patient to now look at the nurse and go, Wow, this person gets me I understand you can you’re a person. And again, to me influence is about trust, likability believability, feeling like they know you. And trust is critical in leadership and in so many aspects.
So if you believe trust is important, you have to show trust not tell. And that the storytelling is just stepping into a piece of somebody’s story. Now going back to the wedding thing, I spoke to a group of DJs I know we don’t have any DJs on here, but just follow me. At most, they all own their own company. So maybe now some of the people can relate to that more. And by the way, they don’t just play music, you would be surprised at how much they’re really like event planners, they do so much. But anyway, so I was doing a workshop on story and making them write the cust tell their customer story about this, you know somebody they help. And I could tell I was getting some, some crossed arms and our rolls. And there was one guy in the back especially I was like he is not madness, but I just focused on the ones who were paying attention and what called the day.
Well, I get a letter from that guy. Weeks later. Well, not even weeks telling me that he was sick that day, you know, so he wasn’t just not interested. He was just really sick. And he said so I wasn’t that engaged. And he said but I took what you said and I went back and he said I thought wow, I don’t know if this is going to work. But let me just try to put together a little story here doing what you said, following your formula. And he said he had a trade show coming up. And he said, I normally, I stopped while he said, I stopped going to these trade shows, because I just wouldn’t get any leads. It wasn’t worth it. You know, I’d get maybe a card or two and it would never turn into anything. He goes, but I decided I would go to one more. And try using what you said the story. Now he’s at a vendor table. And any of you have vendor tables?
No, you only have seconds. When people are coming back. We said this bridal show, most wives and mothers, some dads walking through, he said it was kind of hard. And I felt sorry, he was using it in a very advanced way. But he said I kind of had to just go with it on the fly. And it wasn’t really well put together. He said, but I would tell all of them about this, Brad. And what happened. He goes, I had brides crying, mothers cried, even some fathers cried. He said I walked away with 27 business cards of people who followed up and wanted to have a consultation with me. So that he goes, oh, my gosh, the formula works. So and we, again, like you said the call since the beginning of time, stories have been used to influence people in a massive way. This is nothing new. We just forget when it comes to business where like, I don’t know how to do this. Second thing I want to say is, I was doing another workshop in the wedding industry. And the guy actually he was a DJ too. That’s right.
Anyway, he came, it was a two day or he comes in the second day, he goes, oh my gosh, you’re not gonna believe what happened. And I was like, What? Now this is not even story. This is about more about human connection. He said, I had an appointment last night after our workshop. And he said the bride and the groom came in. And he said I did something I’ve never done before. And I said what he said, before I got into my sales talk or whatever I could do for them, or the normal conversation I just said, I asked him some questions about themselves, like always do. And I said, Is there anything you’d like to know about me before we get started? And I was like, what a brilliant question. And he said horrible. And he said that the got the they looked at each other. And they’re like, well, well, what do you like to do as a hobby? He goes, I love fishing. If I’m not here, I’m fishing, fishing fish, will the groom perked up and was like, I like fishing too. And they had just a couple of seconds banter about that and went on about their way. At the end of the conversation the groom looks at him and he goes, I knew from the minute we sat down that you were the one we wanted.
Now, Nicole, there’s there’s a lot of moving pieces to that. And could we, I mean, really say for sure. But the point is, he took a moment without even crafting a story to find to reveal something personal about himself, and to pull it out of them. Now one other thing I’ll add, and then I’ll shut up is that the one of them in the room said, You know what, I always ask people to get them talking about themselves. Because that’s in a sales conversation. Or if anybody here is an entrepreneur who is in that position. It’s kind of what you want them to do. So you can show them, you could pull on something and go, oh, I love to do that, too.
And they said, tell me. Oh, now I forgot the question. It was something like, tell me what the perfect day, a perfect wedding would look like to you. Tell me the story of what that would look like? Having a good leading question that will get people to share pieces of their story. So you as that. I call it a seller in my book. But I mean, anybody who’s using story to get buy in, can can look for the pain and desire and emotion you can tap into and say I’ve been there, or oh, I’ve been there. My last client had that same problem you had. Alright, sorry, I trailed off at the end. But people like specific examples of what this looks like in the real world.
Nicole: Yeah. And so I love how you gave us very practical examples of the trade show. And then I sat down with the client. Now in terms of the leader, what I’m kind of seeing is like leaders, where am I supposed to be telling all these stories?
Kelly: Yes, okay. Anytime you’re in a meeting, they do. They do. Which is why the first question becomes tell me who you’re trying to influence which they already know. Well, what are those touch points, you may realize you’re not even having any opportunities? Is it in a newsletter where you get to have something you say at the beginning of each newsletter, let me give you a specific example without naming the name of the company and I’ve been to okay, two examples. Tell me insurance company. But then I want to say I go to a lot of awards dinners and awards banquets for companies and they they love to bring into funny motivational speaker. That’s that side of what I do. And I go there when they’re honoring their employees.
And I have yet to see and often the leader will stand up whether that’s a CEO whether whoever that may be. Somebody with that role will get up and say something at that event. And I have yet to see anybody say anything that truly showed how much those employees were valued. Often me, I as the speaker unable to do it in a way they weren’t able to do. When they had a prime opportunity to speak to their people. Another example. I’m speaking at an insurance company where the staff has flown in for a retreat from all over the United States. I speak okay we’re also remind me hotels and I’ll give you another example. So I come into the staff meeting and they are rolling out how successful the last year was. What’s on board you know these kind of meetings.
Nicole: Oh yes. We got lots of KPIs we’re talking about.
Kelly: Yes. Yes you know there’s hundreds of people in the room many of whom have never met you before face to face. This is a prime opportunity for you to do many things to show them they’re appreciated. And not just give lip service to let them get to know a little bit about you. To tell them stories about the customers you’ve been able to help over the year and how their work played into that. Leaders often get focused in the this is what we need to accomplish let’s do it and let’s get out of here. Now one company they happen to ask me do you recommend a icebreaker we do before you get up to talk? And I thought about it and I was like no no anything sound stupid like you’re just do what you know y’all know I said I’ll tell you what would be nice.
Why don’t y’all share stories of reasons why you love the work that you do. And don’t bother to just go around and I was at their event and Nicole just giving people an opportunity to to to share and be heard and and share a piece of their story from their office and having everybody celebrate the and see the bigger picture of the work that they do and come out of their bubble for a little bit was a beautiful beautiful thing to see. And the CEO gets all this credit for generating that atmosphere. And at the risk of rambling what was the one other example I said? what
Nicole: Hotels.
Kelly: Hotels. So I was at I was there to give a can’t remember it was keynote on the power of story. And they’re like oh this will sound good. And they’re all there I sat there all day in the room as they all were unrolling their new vision. And so every hotel was in they went to these little corners and they put up these whiteboards and pieces of paper on how they could share the vision. Or how they could. Whatever you know better about what people do when they get together. I don’t do that kind of stuff. But one thing that baffled me was that not once did anybody mentioned using stories to share the vision and get buy in. And I was like oh my gosh y’all have all missed the biggest tool that you have.
It’s it’s you skipped totally over. That’s how you get people to buy into a vision or change is you paint the picture of what that looks like. Story never came into the equation and anyway and so I was I was amazed by that. That in the vision casting process that story it they just were still words you can’t get people excited about something they can’t see. And story allows them to not just see it but test drive it walk around in it. It’s not change people are afraid of. It’s not being prepared for it. And story is one of your greatest tools to prepare your people for change because you can show them and let them walk through it and let them experience it in a way that just telling them they’re going to do this won’t work. It’s why we take our kids to kindergarten the day before kindergarten. So they can walk all the way through it feel it. Meet their teachers now they’re not afraid of the change because they’ve they’ve actually experienced it.
Nicole: Yeah this is all just so juicy I can’t hardly stand myself. Okay so what I’m gonna do is I want to tell you all that um she just said a very probably big hotel chain spending lots of money. Got in the corners and starting to think that probably numbers and strategies. Instead of looking at what the outcome, the result the vision is going to be. And so in coaching, Kelly, we call that I want you to meet your future self. So we go, we go out into the future, and we say it’s five years from today, you’re already noted. Yes. Yeah, it’s five years from today. And I want you to tell me your point where you said earlier, when we said, What is the ideal wedding? What kind of life are you living? Right?
And so I call that the introspective, right? So we’re getting introspective, what do I really want? Which is another very great powerful question. But then you turn around and go back to the present, looking down your lifeline, and you say, What do I need to do to have that life I really, really want. Which is what companies need to do. Where do we want to be in five years? What is what is different? Tell me the story of that day. And then tell me what I need to do afterwards. Like what okay, this is what we want, what are the what’s the to do list to get there from where we’re at, right? So just really, really rich.
Kelly: I have, I’d love to add something to that, too. If I may. Stories also teach values in action. So I have a story about a woman with a mop, a true story about a woman is, and y’all can go find it on YouTube.
Nicole: I know this story.
Kelly: It’s not super great. It’s just the right story, if you know what I mean. And how she impacts everybody. And we all know her. There’s one everywhere. But how she impacts everybody in that hospital lobby, everybody who crosses her path. That’s what I’ve called a value and action story that leaders could have. Sometimes we have, I don’t know values, the word y’all would use. You, you want to teach people how they need to act and show up in the workplace, and telling them you need to care about our customers, it’s a lot harder for your listener to understand what that looks like.
They don’t know. And they’re all going to interpret it differently. But you tell the story of that value in action. And and of the woman with a mop or other people who have in your organization, things they’ve done, then it illustrates these values, and they can step into it and see telling people they need to care about their customers. has no picture in my mind this am I making sense to you? Again, I’m the artist here trying to you got to translate it into what it means in that that leadership coaching world that you’re in.
Nicole: Right right. No it’s absolutely true. Because I actually a while back, I was like, oh, I should I asked her to tell the story of the woman with the mop, because I have heard it many times. And and it is fantastic. And if value isn’t the right word listeners that’s landing when she says a value in action. It could also be as she said, a behavior you want people to see an action. But really, I think it’s like the quality of the character of that woman with the mob. What kind of woman is she? Yeah, she’s hardworking. She’s diligent. She’s empathetic. She’s these things. And that’s the kind of people we need to be it illustrates, this is the character I want you to become when you work here. And these are the character traits of that character.
Kelly: I and you walk away, wanting to be like her, not because I told you. Because I am inspired by her actions. And it makes and that’s huge. Another thing that many of your leaders, you find yourselves at a time when I think it benefits you to show your people you understand what they’re going through, you understand where they’ve been, you understand the pain that they’re feeling, or the anxiety especially now, or especially in 2020 leaders are tasked to to, to bring their team through this and really, really tough times that people are going through.
And one of the best ways we do this with our children is you know, my son goes through something at school or bullied or picked on and I’m like, oh, you shouldn’t be that way. That’s not going to work. But it’s like, hey, kid, I know I haven’t gone through that. But wow, you should have been around when I was in 10th grade, the kids used to throw things at me on the bus. You know, da da da da da. Having a I understand where you’ve been experience is really valuable. Right now I’m kind of showing you the different types of store the different things story can accomplish for you, and it works with your customers and your buyers, as well. I understand where you’ve been.
Nicole: Yeah. All right. Well, I think that this podcast has been chock full of great material. And so I want to know more about the free gift. So we’ll put that actually on the screen where they can go and get that. So we’ll get the link. We’ll put it in the show notes because you need to go get the Me It Them. Did I get it right? Me, It, Them?
Kelly: That’s the perfect storm. That’s the triangle. Yeah.
Nicole: Okay. And you need to do that you need to take a look at, you know, the fact that your people are human and how you really be a great leader is to have, you know, and I call it a heart to heart connection. I stole it from a fancy PhD at MIT, John Kotter. And, you know, don’t miss Kelly said she, she said, you want change management to happen. Like that’s a big fancy, kind of educational term. We’re doing change management. Okay, well change the hearts and minds of people. That’s what Kelly is talking about today, you know. So that’s really exciting. And then the other thing that I just want to say that she brought up, she said, when you’re putting your stories together, what are the problems that your listeners having? What feelings are they going through? How can you relate to that? What is the solution and make sure you bring yourself into the story, right? So here’s all their stuff. But then here’s how I relate to that we’re in this together, that’s kind of like, landed.
Kelly: Well, and it’s a kind of a, I’ll tell you a simple way to say it, when it comes to them, what’s in it for them. And we as leaders don’t like to hear that, because we want them to do but when you want to motivate people, you find what motivates them, you help make their dreams come true. And show them how this work, and you can help them get there. I’m never going to get anywhere on on a stage as a motivational speaker, really trying to bring people through the challenges of their life. If I don’t show them, I understand what they’re going through. This is not about what I want to say. It’s about what they need to hear.
And I’ve had some people argue with me saying, that’s what’s wrong with us as we cater too much to our employees. And you know, so well, maybe, maybe that may be true, but you’re going to have a stronger team if they feel valued, and appreciated. And feeling value, you know, if you can understand what what’s in this for them? And what, what motivates them. That free gift, Nicole, I did a survey on LinkedIn and said, ask me your burning question about story. And people were like, how do you change a negative story that’s gone viral? How do you know if the story’s good enough? Whatever. And I answered each one extensively, that is also in your free gift. So I know you’ll never need to know about story again, it’s all right there. You don’t even have to pay for it.
Nicole: That’s fantastic. That’s fantastic. Okay, so I have one last question. I can’t help myself. So I love this question. Let’s pretend we’ve got one listener who is a leader. And they’re like, Oh, my gosh, I just figured out how to read the P&L. I just figured out how to, you know, submit payroll, and now I got to learn to tell stories. You know, what, what little teeny tiny piece of advice would you give to this new leader, new manager? Who’s who’s thinking, oh, my gosh, I have even more work to do. How should they enter into this idea of becoming a storyteller?
Kelly: Okay, the first thing, okay, you said one, I’m going to say, first of all, put it on your to do list. It is a tool, and it is a tool you can’t ignore. We all have a to do list. Maybe you don’t have to do it today, put it on your to do list. But I’m going to give you another simple answer. For those who are ready. What do I do? What do I do? There’s too much, there’s too much. You have to start looking for the moments, I can’t tell you where you’re trying to influence somebody. But the next time you know, you have an opportunity to persuade somebody to influence somebody, just ask yourself, is there a story example I could give them here? That’s all. Don’t worry even about following my formula.
Don’t worry about any of it just go is there a story that illustrates this, that I can share with them. Don’t worry about writing it. Don’t worry, don’t worry about any of it, except having the courage to just, you know, share a story and just go from there. But keep it on that to do list. Because a lot of people are paying attention to it. And a lot of them are your competitors. And a lot of them are already using it in social media and they’re getting more views because of it and they’re getting more subscribers because of it. We’re going to be left behind in my opinion, if we don’t pay attention to this powerful tool.
Nicole: I totally agree. All right, Kelly Swanson. I’m going to call you in a little bit. We’re gonna play some more party games. You and me do podcast games. I love it. It’s been an absolute delight to have you on the podcast today. Kelly Swanson can be found on the internet. Where can we find you if we want to watch videos in hear the woman with the mop story?
Kelly: Well if you just if you google Kelly Swanson speaker you will find me. You’ll find all of that my official website is motivationalspeakerkellyswanson.com and you’ll give them the link. Even if they go to the website, they’ll see a link for a gift. But if you forget she’ll post it up there, kellysfreegift.com, no apostrophe, just Kellysfreegift.com will take them to all of those resources.
Nicole: Okay, well get out there. Start googling. And the next thing while you’re getting your run done getting your weightlifting routine, is I want you to listen to the woman with the mop story. All right, Kelly. It’s been a delight. I hope I get to High Point, North Carolina very soon. I’m gonna look you up. I’m gonna buy you some dinner. All right.
Kelly: I’ll take you up on that. Thank you.
Nicole: Okay. All right. Have a great day.
Kelly: You too.
Voiceover: Ready to up your leadership game? Bring Nicole Greer to speak to your leadership team, conference or organization to help them with her unique SHINE method to increase clarity, accountability, energy and results. Email speaking@vibrantculture.com. Be sure to check out Nicole’s TEDx talk at vibrantculture.com/TEDTalk
